Fat of the Land

Mexico is currently home to the World's Fattest Baby, a doughy diaperload named Antonio "Super Toño" Vasconcelos, who plopped into a Cancun delivery room a few days ago weighing a staggering 14 pounds 1 ounce. His parents, who have apparently never seen The Elephant Man, are doing all they can to get him used to a lifetime of ostracism and ridicule:

"...the "little" fellow is causing a sensation in this resort city. Cancún residents have crowded the nursery ward's window to see Antonio, who was born early Monday by Caesarean section at Jesús Kumate Rodríguez Hospital."

That should make for an interesting passage in his suicide note.

And what can the World's Fattest baby aspire to be when he grows up? Why, the World's Fattest Man, of course - a title held by Super Toño's compatriot, Manuel Uribe. Having once weighed 1,235 pounds, he's down to a Speedo-ready 800, thanks to - this is true - The Zone Diet. His chances for a Subway-style endorsement deal have been hampered by the fact that he hasn't gotten out of bed since 2001.

Meanwhile, the 2007 Miss Universe Pageant will be held in Mexico this May. I'm sensing a photo opportunity...