Friday, March 16, 2007

A Face-Saving Way for Bush to Fire "Alberto Gonzales"

The Justice Dept. has finally figured out a way to keep America safe from the Brown Menace without actually building that pointless wall: deny visas to any Mexican whose name sounds like a criminal's. Given the plentitude of Latinos with criminal records and the relative paucity of Latino names, this is should be incredibly effective. (Just look how safe air travel has been since they barred anyone named Ahmed from boarding a plane.)

How's it working? Well, from this day forward, the American people will be safe from killer riffs:

A budding Mexican musical duo has been forced to cancel a series of U.S. appearances because one of its members has not been able to renew his U.S. work visa, apparently because he has a name similar to a wanted criminal.

Rodrigo Sánchez and Gabriela Quintero - known as Rodrigo y Gabriela - have been forced to cancel shows at festivals in Miami and Austin, Texas, and a sold-out gig in Boston because of the visa issue... They may also be forced to cancel upcoming shows in New York, Philadelphia and Washington.

Seriously? The criminal's name is "similar" to "Rodrigo Sánchez"? How many people do you suppose that covers? The Queretaro phone book has seven pages of Sánchezes. (In a later posting, we'll explain why we can't tell you how many Rodrigo Sánchezes there are.)

Of course, Rodrigo could have just showed the embassy this clip of himself on Letterman:

Feel safer now?


Anonymous said...

The logic behind that is really something to make you laugh.

Great... so, if I have a last name that matches a criminal I couldn't go to Disney to spend my hardly earn pesos.

Anonymous said...

If the US checked the two lastnames, there would be no problem at all, another advantage of the two last names.