Sunday, April 29, 2007

Jingo Balls

Man, if there's one thing that might convince me to travel less, it's the prospect of waving this thing at customs officials around the world.

When Americans do open their new passports, they’ll see a document strikingly different from the old booklet. By July, all applicants will get the new design,...

The new passport comes with its own name: "American Icon." It’s hard to think of one that was left out.

The inside cover sports an engraving of the battle scene that inspired "The Star Spangled Banner." A couple of lines of the anthem, starting with, "O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave," are scrawled in what the State Department says is Francis Scott Key’s own cursive.

The short, 28-page version of the passport comes with 13 inspirational quotes, including six from United States presidents and one from a Mohawk Thanksgiving speech. The pages, done in a pink-grey-blue palate, are rife with portraits of Americana ranging from a clipper ship to Mount Rushmore to a long-horn cattle drive.

Hell, why not make it bright orange to match the hostage jumpsuits we'll all be wearing? I'm sure there'll be a chip in it that plays Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red White and Blue" when you open it, as soon as they work out the royalties.

3 comments:

radosh said...

Go back to Mexico, commie.

Burro Hall said...

Yeah, maybe I can get the to stamp my passport on the page that shows Gen. Taylor signing the Treaty of Hidalgo, giving the US half of Mexico's territory.

Anonymous said...

I just received my new passport. Granted, it's not an "ePassport," but then I won't have to carry around my laptop to show it. Nor will I have to look like Frank Moss, (I have dirt from 1950 that looks younger than him), as this ePassport seems to require. PS: There are 24, numbered pages, each showing watermark-type seals from the individual states, albeit I didn't check to see that all 50 plus PR, Guam, and the Green Zone in Iraq were represented.