Sunday, April 01, 2007

My Sweet Lord

Today is Palm Sunday (did you know that most palms come from Mexico? Neither did we.) This is the official kick off of Holy Week (Semana Santa). We'll be mocking the faithful all week long here, so check back frequently.

("Hey, why the hostility," you ask? Nothing personal, really. Look, if ice cream makers or Neo-Nazis or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals were parading up and down our street all day and waking us up with fireworks before sunrise, we'd abuse them, too. But they're not doing that; the Catholic Church is. This is the business we have chosen. Try to appreciate our position - below is the view from our rooftop facing east:

(I mean, how can God even keep them all straight? There'd be a half dozen more if the view was unobstructed, and this doesn't include the most important church in all of Querétaro, which is two block to the west of us.)

Palm Sunday actually turned out to be a "quiet morning" kind of holiday, so we'll be nice to all the folks trudging quietly down the street in their Sunday best. Instead, let's take a minute to laugh at Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, a group that the American media takes very seriously despite being far to the right of the Vatican. Donohue, who famously defended "The Passion" by accusing Hollywood of being "controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular ... Hollywood likes anal sex," (Bill, people in glass rectories...) ought to be shunned by Catholics in particular and polite society in general, but some how keeps popping up in respectable newspapers and tv networks. This week he was all over the place tearing his hair out over a six-foot sculpture of Jesus made from sweet, delicious milk chocolate.

Catholic League head Bill Donohue called it "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever".

Ever? Okay, so if we're scoring along at home, Bill Donohue's list of Worst Assaults On Christian Sensibilities might go something like this:

    1) Jesus made of candy
    2) Christians fed to lions by Roman emperors
    3) Monty Python's The Life of Brian
    4) Jihad
    5) Actual crucifixion of Christ

See? Hurling invective at the pilgrims on our street doesn't even make the top five. It'll be a long time before God gets around to smiting us.

Update: Oh, Man, just went for a walk and happened upon this exhibit at a public art gallery a couple blocks from here. I think we have a new candidate for the #4 position on the list. His Hunkiness is not made of white chocolate, but Donohue's gonna be pissed anyway. All the info you need for the boycott is right here, Bill. It's about time someone took Mexico to task for its blatant anti-Catholicism.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Bill Donahue's problem is that he does not always look on the bright side of life ...