Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Straight Talk Express

St. John "Straight Talk" McCain headed to Baghdad this week to show the world that, contrary to what the liberal media is telling you, Iraq is perfectly safe, full of beautiful boulevards where Americans can stroll freely, without a care in the world besides rescuing kittens from trees and handing out chocolates to grateful Iraqi schoolkids.

McCain proved his case by walking though a market three minutes from the Green Zone, swaddled in kevlar and accompanied by 100 US soldiers, a brace of rooftop snipers, three Blackhawk helicopters and a pair of Apache gunships. And advance team swept the market for bombs, guns and general malcontents before the Straight Talk Express arrived. And, sure, when you do all that, it is pretty damn safe. The press (some of it, anyway) has been having fun with this for a couple days now.

What I didn't know is that the whole thing was just a b-roll shoot for a 60 Minutes profile to be broadcast this Sunday (I've got 100 pesos that says it's titled "The Maverick".) I have to say, I do miss the sheer decadence of working for that operation. Imagine being able to ask a US Senator to strong-arm a huge chunk of our overextended military into providing what essentially amounts to "location security" for a video shoot. Of course, it's hard to say how much of that is due to 60's influence, and how much is the Mav's sheer, naked ambition. I'm pretty sure McCain would hand me the keys to his car if he thought a mention on this blog could get him two points among Hispanic Americans.

Update: This is what happens to people who aren't John McCain:

21 Shia market workers were ambushed, bound and shot dead north of the capital. The victims came from the Baghdad market visited the previous day by John McCain, the US presidential candidate, who said that an American security plan in the capital was starting to show signs of progress.

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