Saturday, May 26, 2007

The Streets Are Covered with Seamen

In it bit of lucky good timing, it appears I'm in New York on Fleet Week! At first I thought it was Gay Pride week, but none of the guys looked buff enough. Fleet Week, if you've never been here for it, is an annual tradition where just about every sailor in the US Navy comes to New York to whistle at Midwestern tourist girls who they mistake for actual New Yorkers. A lof of them experience a sort of "reverse-seasickness" from being on dry land, and late at night you can see them clinging tightly to the lamp posts while vomiting all over their Donald Duck outfits. Hoo-yah!

Fleet Week doesn't appear to have changed much since my first one in 1990. Back then you could walk through Times Square and see the look of horrified surprise on the sailors' faces as it dawned on them that that lady's no lady, if you know what I mean. You can see that same look in Times Square today, as they realize they've sailed all the way from the Straight of Hormuz to be greeted by Red Lobster, Toys R Us and the M&M superstore.

On the other hand, al Qaeda doesn't have a navy, so these guys have all shown an ability to make smart choices in life. Bottoms up!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A True Story: Three Fleeties were wandering during the week in The Bronx Zoo. They were scratching their heads and clearly looked lost. We asked what they sought. "Fordham Road," they replied. We pointed them in the correct direction -- hey, this ain't Mexico, if you know what I mean. "No, that can't be the way," they insisted. So we offered our copy of The Bronz Zoo map (handed out at the entrances) and said they could keep it. "No, we don't need a map." So we wandered off, scratching our heads and thinking about our hard-earned tax dollars at work on the high seas.