Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Coca-Cola Company Hates Brown People

Coke, like it or not, is America's unofficial Ambassador to the World. Here in Mexico, we're having a bit of a diplomatic incident:

Consumer advocates here are blasting Coca-Cola over its use of a sweetener that's been banned in the United States since 1969, but is now an ingredient in the Mexican version of Coca-Cola Zero.

Sodium cyclamate, which is 30 times sweeter than sucrose and prized because it lacks a strong aftertaste, was outlawed by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration 38 years ago over cancer concerns. It was legalized in Mexico last year, shortly before Coca-Cola launched the Mexican version of Coca-Cola Zero, the soda giant's latest diet drink.

Sodium cylamate causes bladder cancer and something called "testicle atrophy" (a term which we're willing to bet all the money in our bribery slush fund never came up when Mexico was debating whether to legalize it.) The completely impartial Beverage Institute for Health and Wellness (a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Coca-Cola Company) insists the concerns are overblown. Besides, the company says, Mexicans practially demanded this carcinogenic ball-shrinking beverage.

"The driving force for any new product is consumer taste preferences," he said. "In this case, Mexican consumers clearly preferred the great taste of this option over the others that we tested."

Really, what else could the company do? It's a Latino thing, you know? Like, down in Panama, they just love the taste of antifreeze! The market demands great taste! And lots of it!

Coca-Cola, and sodas in general, make up a large part of Mexico's diet. According to one study, indigenous Mexicans spend twice as much on soda than milk and it is estimated that Mexican families spend nearly $500 a year on soda products. In 2006, Mexico was Coke's second largest market behind the United States.

The happy result? Mexico is rapidly becoming a nation of underage fat-asses. And now, with rapidly-shrinking nuts. Thanks, Mr. Ambassador!

1 comment:

meli said...

I sure hope you have seen this link, Of course there are like 20 gallons of Coca for the family. Que panza les espera.
Look for the Mexican family in this link, just follow the soda eh-
http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1626519_1373664,00.html