Sunday, August 19, 2007

Resolved: Ride the Scorpion!

I decided to take a break from my usual high-minded pursuits and spend much of the afternoon staring at the television. That cursed box has brought me nothing but misery of the years, but today all is forgiven. I was watching Bandamax, which is like MTV for norteño music. I can't say I'm a huge fan of the music, but I love the visuals; band members typically dress in matching ostrich-trimmed leisure suits, boots and cowboy hats and, to break up the monotony, the videos usually feature a half-dozen gyrating señoritas who'd be making hip-hop videos in LA if not for visa problems. Scorpion imagery is important, and hat brims or lapels often have them embroidered.

So I'm watching some video - for the life of me, I can't remember who the band was, - and at one point the singer, who looked to have one of those little hipster goatee-sans-moustache things, lifts his head to hit a high note, and there it is: a scorpion carved into his facial hair. This is without a doubt the greatest Mexican beard since Emperor Maximilian was executed, and possibly one of the best things, in any category, I've ever seen. My very crude artist's rendition is at left. Needless to say, as soon as the cold weather comes around, I plan to be hard at work on my very own barba alacrán. Join me, won't you?


Anonymous said...

I guess you're not coming for Thanksgiving. Scaring the living daylights out of a bunch of little ones is not on the menu.


Josh said...

Dude, if you're rocking the scorpion beard at TG, I am totally popping in for dessert.

Burro Hall said...

Mom: I guess I'm misunderstanding the purpose of little children. If not to terrorize them, then what?

Josh: You come bearded or don't come at all.