Friday, November 09, 2007

Unbridled Carnage

Guest Scab: Former Rep. Charles Stenholm, Lobbyist for the American Horse Slaughter Industry.

Since no one else has been brave enough to take over writing duties while the landlord is on strike, I thought I'd take advantage of the power vacuum to serve up a Texas-sized helpin' of I-told-y'all-so! Last month it was reported that, on account of all the goodie-goodies making life difficult for the American Horse Slaughter business, one of America's finest industries was moving south of the border. Well, hippies, I've been saying it for years, someone's gonna get hurt.

And the day before yesterday, someone did. On a foggy highway outside Mexico City, a trailer carrying eight horses started a twelve-car pileup that left six people - and six beautiful, slaughterable horses - dead on the asphalt. Even more horribly, the trailer full of horses collided with another trailer carrying 126 pigs, half of which were killed instantly, the other half wandering the highway bloody and crazed, terrifying and attacking drivers and rescue workers alike. I don't know spit about preachin' but it seems to me like this was a dress rehearsal for the End of Days.

So the next time you find yourself speaking ill of the American Horse Slaughter Industry, ask yourself if you feel better sending the poor condemned beasts off to Mexico to be crushed to death by 126 pigs.

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