Thursday, December 13, 2007

Do You Mind If We Dance Wif Yo' Date?

Taking the perro out for his daily waddle around the neighborhood usually results in us being stopped once or twice by people who want to pet him or ask a few questions. Generally they just want to know what breed he is, whether he bites and - since Mexicans have no taboo about this sort of thing - how much I paid for him. But the question I've been getting more and more - like, specifically, four times this week alone, include twice yesterday - is whether I'd like to come over to their house so that my dog can fuck their dog.

The first time I was asked this, I assumed I simply misunderstood the offer. Then I started to wonder this wasn't a carefully-phrased solicitation for prostitution, like the nice young lady who asked me on my first week in New York whether I'd like to "go on a date" with her. ("Sure," I said, somewhat stunned. "Have you seen Goodfellas yet?" I may as well have been wearing bib overalls.) But no, it's actually pretty common for people to walk up to random perro-walking strangers on the street in search of a mate for their perras.

Aside from the fact the I had the boy arreglado (I finally went and looked that one up) years ago, I mean, how is this supposed to work? We go back to their house, they pour coffee, put out some cookies, and I make broken, stammering chitchat while our dogs hump in livingroom? How long does this usually take? How soon is too soon for us to leave when it's over? Are we family now, with all the obligations that implies?

Anyway, it occurred to me to day that there's a way to answer all these questions. Next time some comes to us with an Indecent Proposal, I'm just going to say yes. What do I care that it's a waste of their time? It's too weird to pass up.

Update: This link left in the comments is worth following...


Anonymous said...

Your pet it is seeking couple? Perritas: Can you resist "Bam Bam", a Weimaraner of three years in "Good Air" whose "alone mom wants a son mio and To do me happy with a pretty one perrita."

Anonymous said...

The owners of the bitch (perra) gives the perra to your home for a week (could be more or less) so your dog can spent quality time... and increase the chances of puppies.

The owner of the perras is forced to give you at least a puppie, if there are many puppies, you can have more, for free.

After that you don't have to see each other again.