Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Story That Doesn't Make Me Feel As Bad As It Probably Ought To

Parking can be a bit of a nightmare around here, so most of the local eating and drinking establishments offer valet parking - which (just to review) is where you hand your most expensive possession to a total stranger in exchange for a tiny slip of paper. Here, the little slip of paper usually contains a lot of fine print saying that the valet operation is in no way responsible for any theft or damage to your vehicle (even though you are paying them money to care for said vehicle.) There are also no laws or regulations specifically governing valet operations. Nor, generally speaking, is there a societal litigiousness on the scale one would find up north.

But this is all just background for a fun little story from the local newsrag, whereby last night a guy goes out to one of our more obnoxious-looking nightspots, hands the valet the keys to his Porsche Carrera (this is a story where the victim is a guy driving a $73,000 car, which does somewhat sand the edges off my sense of pity), and goes inside. The valet - identified only as "Peter" - takes the car and, rather than putting it in the lot across the street, decides to open her up to about 75 mph on a crowded residential street, loses control, and plows it into a Toyota minivan and a VW Jetta.

The Porsche guy, already suffering from massive insecurity and, I'd wager, a smaller-than-average penis, returns to find his Porsche totaled and a slip of paper in his pocket absolving "Peter" and his employers of any and all damages.

End of story.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Really, one must feel pity for the Toyota and VW owners. I'll bet the Porsche owner sues them for having their cars parked where his car could hit them.
I'll have to be more careful when I hand my truck over to valet parkers rather that try to find a space big enough for it. If his name is Peter, I'll smash it up myself!