Thursday, January 24, 2008

Untitled (All the Puns Are Too Easy)

I think we're probably one goring away from a new regulation forcing all bullfighters to wear cups. You might recall that on Christmas day, bullfighter Israel Téllez took 18 stitches to the nutsack here in Querétaro. Not to be outdone, José Tomás, while merely practicing this weekend on a farm not too far from here...

...I'm sorry, I just need a minute to catch my breath. While practicing this weekend, Tomás picked up a 12-inch gash in his groin, tearing open his scrotum, "exposing" (Jesus Christ...) "both testicles, requiring 30 stitches to close the wound." Tomás was preparing to go mano a mano later this year against 56-year-old Rodolfo "El Pana" Rodríguez, who is currently nursing an eight-inch stab in the thigh he suffered three weeks ago. (El Pana's been in the game long enough to know how to cover his scrotum, it would appear.) Tomás, incidentally, picked up his own thigh wound this summer during a bullfight in honor of the legendary Manolete, who had been fatally gored in that very ring 60 years earlier.

Hey, but if football is your thing...go Pats!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Olé, Olé, all come free"?

Krellinator said...

Maybe you should just change the name from "Burro Hall" to "Torn Open Nutsack Roundup."

Anonymous said...

Huevos rancheros, anyone?

Burro Hall said...

Josh,

There's already a tv show with that name here, unfortunately.

Anonymous said...

YAAAAAY Score another one for the bull!


M