Friday, June 13, 2008

That Long Black Cloud Is Comin' Down

So here's a new word for ya: fecalismo. This does not, as some would have you believe, refer to the governing style of president Felipe Calderon, but rather...oh, here, see for yourself.

When we talk about urban pollution, most people believe that their main sources are automobiles and factories, and usually think of ozone and particulate matter.

However, to the list of cars and factories now we have added a biological component that makes the problem worse: el fecalismo.

Each day, hundreds of thousands of dogs and cats, as well as an undetermined number of people defecate in the streets, vacant lots, courtyards, gardens and parks of Mexico City.

And then, long disgusting story short, those hundreds of thousands of piles of crap dry up, turn to dust, and are blown through the air and into the lungs of decent, God-fearing, toilet-using citizens.

Are there any ill effects from this, apart from an overwhelming urge to kill oneself? These folks are doing a big-budget survey of the problem, though we here at Burro Hall Laboratories have always labored under the assumption that inhaling the crap of hundreds of thousands of dogs and cats, as well as an undetermined number of people is probably bad for you.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's why I stopped wearing contact lenses. I think I've said enough.

Mexfiles said...

There is a pretty stiff fine for not scooping your pooch's poop in Mexico City (150 salarios), but people's attitudes (not to mention the dogs') are slow to change. In my old hard-core socialist neighborhood, the street signs read "For the good of the people, please clean up your dog feces." In right-wing, ritzy Polanco, they read "If your dog shits here, we'll call the cops!"

Same shit, different day... or something like that

Anonymous said...

(Commenter #1 again): On my street, most of the dogs go around on their own. Who's going to bother scooping their gracias?. Not my neighbours, that's for sure.

Burro Hall said...

We scoop up all the perro's regalitos, to the amusement of the neighbors, who can't understand why a grown man would want to been seen walking down the street with a bag of shit in his hand. (Note to Querétaro city planners: fewer dancing fountains, more trash cans. Just a thought.)

Anyway, if I had a fat pile of research grant money, I'd put away the microscopes and petri dishes and concentrate on determining, not just the number, but the actual names and addresses, of the people who defecate in the streets, vacant lots, courtyards, gardens and parks of Mexico City. And then I would flog them, probably in the Zócalo, definitely on television.

Hollito said...

So D.F. stands for Distrito Fecal ! ;-)