Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Who's Yer Fatty?

Though most Mexicans relish the prospect of besting the US at anything, the recent news that the country had become the second-fattest nation on Earth caused a few governmental killjoys to rain on the parade. For the months of June and July the Social Security Institute (sort of like HHS) has set a nationwide goal of a one-million kilo weight loss. So how're we doin'?

More like how're we chewin'! Mexicans are refusing en masse to lose any weight whatsoever! Out of roughly 110 million citizens, only 1,026,179 people have even signed up - less than 1% of the population. (Inscription is limited to ages 13-60, but still.) But even with that paltry enrollment, all everyone would need to lose on average is one lousy kilo. But a month into the program, these 1,026,179 patriots, perhaps having second thoughts about spoiling their countrymens' shot at the World's Fattest Nation, have lost a pathetic 343,230 kilos, or (don't worry, we did the math for you) a mere 11.7 ounces apiece. That's less than what a can of Goya refried pinto beans weighs.

And remember, these are the 1,026,179 people who are actively trying to lose weight. With absolutely no data to back us up, we can confidently state that the other 109 million Mexicans have collectively gained more than 343,231 kilos in the past five week. Looks like a certain fatassed nation to el norte is about to get a run, er, waddle, for its money.

Update: According to that chart, queretanos are not only enrolling at one-tenth the rate of their countrymen, but they have lost a ridiculous 7.8 ounces each - an amount that has to be within the average bathroom scale's margin of error. I guess we know which state wants to win around here.

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