Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Dispatches from Mt. Olympus

Since the original purpose of this post was to poke gentle fun at the Mexican Olympic squad, we'll mention up front that we managed, in the middle of the night, to snag a bronze (two bronzes? - we're not sure how that gets tallied) in synchronized diving. (That's them. Sadly, they don't synchronize all their movements outside the pool, which is, we suppose, the difference between gold and bronze, and also a lot less funny.) The Burro Hall Sports Desk has long campaigned against the inclusion of judged competitions - diving, figure skating, gymnastics, etc - in the Olympic Games on the grounds that these are not, as we understand the word, sports. But that doesn't mean we can't cheer on the little mermaids, and look forward to the inevitable rechristening of our street as Avenida Tatiana Ortiz y Paola Espinosa.

Anyway, here are a few actual stories from yesterday's sports pages:

    "Mexican Swimmer Fernanda González failed to advance to the semifinals of the 100m backstroke, after finishing sixth in her heat..."

    "Despite taking second in her heat, Mexico's Adriana Marmolejo didn't make the cut in the women's 100m breaststroke..."

    "Susana Escobar was eliminated in the 400m freestyle..."

    "Leon's Robert Elías was eliminated before the finals in the 10m rifle, ending up in 25th place - one spot behind his countryman, José Luis Sánchez.

    "Mexican gymnast Maricela Cantú finished 56th in the all-around qualification round, and is returning to home to continue preparing for the 2012 Olympics in London."

Go ahead and laugh all you want - we sure have - but if you were looking for an illustration of the heart of a true Olympian, you could do a lot worse than that last example. Burro Hall hereby lifts its ban on Olympic gymnastics - but not other judged events - for as long as Señorita Cantú remains committed to her dream.

Also, the Mexican beach volleyball team - and, let's face it, here's a sport that the home of Cancun, Acapulco and Playa del Carmen ought to excel at, right? - showed up for their first match only to discover that their uniforms were non-regulation in a number of ways. Not that they didn't look good in their borrowed German uniforms - though they lost 2-1 to Brazil. (Also, someone forgot to give the Mexican boxers tickets to the opening ceremony. When you've only got four years to prepare, it's easy to see how these things can occur.)

Finally, just to show that it's not all about the medals, El Universal has a report from the Olympic Village entitled, We Go There For The Sex:

"Over here, apart from coming to compete, we come to have sex," said a member of the Mexican delegation.

Which we suppose guess is not all that surprising when you've got a bunch of incredibly fit people with a lot of free time on their hands, most of whom probably live with their parents, and some are dressed in German uniforms.


Patrick said...

We'll see who's laughing when those Mexican boxers, having read your post and winced their way through your jibes at them and their brave countrymen, return home stoking the fires of brute vengeance. I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn a few weeks from now that you and the missus did some unscheduled synchronized diving of your own. Off the roof.

Greetings from Saigon.

Julio Cesar Chavez said...

And they'll be very, very cranky if they haven't been getting any ... uh...medal, of course. What else could I mean?

Burro Hall said...

Pat! Welcome back! I was worried that the sex-change would somehow make you less funny, but I underestimated the state of the art of Vietnamese medicine.

Seriously, good to have you online again.