Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Flash in the Panhandle

Just when you thought the War on Drugs couldn't get any sillier, it appears that Flash Gordon has arrived to clean up Baja California. Really. Last month, a group of mercenaries security consultants called Inner Cordon, Inc., were in Tijuana to offer their services to BC's Secretary of Public Security - specifically in the area of training and tactics for cross border, war zone security, an area where Inner Cordon claims special expertise. The president of Inner Cordon is Sam J. Jones, who you may remember from such films as Flash Gordon and...well, you at least remember Flash Gordon, right? We're not sure exactly what he's been up to since saving the Universe from the clutches of Ming the Merciless back in 1980, but according to his bio (this one, not this one) he's spent the last 30 years providing "service to the public and private sectors, with extensive security experience in The International Film and Television Industry, as well as Cross-Border Security Operations throughout Mexico."

What's Inner Cordon's secret? Simple: You don't fuck with Tio Sam.

The majority of Mexico's top criminal elements do not target our U.S. Protection Teams, due to the simple fact: "They do not want to be exposed and/or investigated by U.S. government agencies and their allies". Instead, they focus on targets having a higher probabilty [sic] of success - VIP's who are protected by local sub-standard private sector security teams. [punctuation in original]

Amazingly, this common-sense approach hasn't gained much traction here. According to El Universal, Inner Cordon's proposal, "The We Will Take Back Baja California Initiative" (it's no catchier in Spanish) has been languishing in the BC bureaucracy's in-box for some time now. Meanwhile, company president Sam Jones recently appeared at Comic-Con 2008, without incident.

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