Saturday, August 16, 2008

Hit Me Baby One More Time

Next week, while school-age Americans are sitting on their fat asses playing Nintendo and eating ice cream, their Mexican counterparts will be heading back to class, their summer vacation - which began July 5 - being over for another year. If there's anything we liked about being in school ourselves - and in reality there probably wasn't, but for narrative purposes here let's say that we did like the way during the first few weeks that the girls dressed as if were still summer, which technically it was. Female students at the Autonomous University in Sinaloa, however, are coming back to a brand new rule: stop dressing like such tempting sluts, unless of course you want to provoke more rapes.

A Mexican university has banned miniskirts and other "provocative clothing" in an effort to stop "provoking" violent attacks against women.

Héctor Melesio Cuen Ojeda, rector of the Autonomous University of Sinaloa, said that minskirts worn by many of the pupils are an invitation for attacks both inside and outside the university, according to El Universal.

He advised the women among the university's 46,000 pupils to lower their skirts to knee-level.

Rector? I didn't even touch 'er! Besides, Your Honor, did you see what she was wearing?

Now, Sinaloa is a big place, and perhaps Cuen Ojeda is a common name there, so we can't say for sure whether the rector is directly related to this Sinaloan strumpet, but either way, he may want to rush her some baggy sweats, because the official position of the Burro Hall Editorial Board is that we'd totally hit that.

Not to be left out, the Mexican Catholic Church also admonished the hot little chiquitas - not just in Sinaloa, but everywhere - for forcing guys to molest them so often.

If you want to avoid sexual aggression....don't wear provocative your glances...

This would be just your garden-variety Church idiocy if not for the almost comical hypocrisy. Due to the preponderance of Catholic schools in our neighborhood, the streets around here are about to be flooded with teenage girls in Church-issued plaid skirts, knee socks and saddle shoes - a veritable Garden of Eden for drifters, pedophiles and modeling agents. Apparently, though, they've got only themselves to blame if anything happens.

[Photo: Children's clothing store, C. Hidalgo, Querétaro.]

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