Thursday, August 14, 2008

Smells Like...


The Olympic dreams of eight Mexican athletes came to an end at the Beijing Games this Thursday, in a parade of defeats, adding to the number returning home empty-handed.

We've been a little lax in updating you on the progress of Team Mexico, but from the last couple of days:

    The beach volleyball team, which played its first round in German uniforms, beat Greece while wearing (this is true) Italian uniforms, before losing to Norway, which last we checked was located mostly to the north of the Arctic Circle. We can't identify which country's uniforms those are, but will update you as we learn more.

    A major scandal occurred in cycling, when Moises Aldape decided that the Mexican uniforms provided by sponsor Atletica were good for just about anything except cycling, and donned instead his own Champion-brand uniform. He's been apologizing like Jimmy Swaggart for three days now.

    Querétaro's Susana Escobar set a new national record in the 800 meter freestyle, meaning she was eliminated in the first round and finished 18th.

    Swimmer Adriana Marmolejo set a new Mexican record in the 200 meter breaststroke, resulting in her elimination.

    Shooter Natalia Zamora took 36th in the 3-position 50m, "which was her [Olympic] debut and her goodbye."

    In women's archery, the two Mexicans were eliminated one after the other by the same North Korean.

    Arturo Martínez was sent home after his first judo match. Because we're not complete fucking idiots, we would like to wish Arturo felicidades and a big buena suerte en Londres 2012!

    Tania Elías Calles, took 27th (out of 28) in sailing. Demita Vega was 25th.

We'll note that today is Thursday and there do still appear to be a number of Mexican athletes who have not been eliminated, contra our prediction that they'd all be having sex in the Olympic Village by Wednesday. Burro Hall regrets the error. Meanwhile, this year is the 40th Anniversary of Mexico's winningest Olympics ever - nine medals - during the Games held in...why, Mexico City! Here's a bit of the opening ceremony from that Games, which the announcer notes, in a magnificent bit of understatement, involved one "setback": "the death of 300 student demonstrators shot by police on the eve of the Games."

We still haven't seen the Opening Ceremony from Beijing, broadcast inconveniently at 6AM here, but we see that in '68, Mexico had balloons and doves, and we really can't imagine how our Chinese friends could have topped that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

At least give the athletes credit - they made it to the games. How many can say tht???