Tuesday, September 02, 2008

October Surprise

At the risk of piling on to a high school kid, we have to say we're thoroughly enjoying this story of the girl who slept through Abstinence-Only Education class and turned out to be the daughter of McCain's batshit-crazy running mate. The staff of Burro Hall is as sentimental as anyone else out there, and the idea of a White House wedding (albeit shotgun, and held in the East Room only because Wasilla City Hall is too small) makes us all reach for the Kleenex, or its cheap, scratchy Mexican equivalent.

On the other hand, this is a little disturbing:

Schmidt told reporters that the campaign issued the statement on Bristol's pregnancy to rebut Internet rumors that the governor's 4-month-old baby, Trig, is in fact Bristol's child.

"We had hoped this could be an issue that was private -- that the family could deal with this issue privately," Schmidt told reporters who swarmed him at the convention soon after the statement was issued.

So the plan, as we understand it, was to just say nothing and hope no one noticed the (by election day) seven-and-a-half month pregnant teenager on the "hockey mom's" campaign bus? A plan foiled only by that dastardly internet? Wow. And with the considerably higher rate of premature births among teen mothers, we can only pity the poor campaign spokesman who would have had to spin the bus's sudden, unscheduled dash to a local hospital, clinic or, just as likely, highway rest stop in late October. As plans go, this one was breathtakingly Rumsfeldian.

People are already whispering the name Eagleton, but we hope McCain sticks to his guns here, because we've got a blog to fill.

Update: Oh yeah, then there's this:

Palin's children were not told that their mother was the nominee until later in the day Thursday. They had been told previously that they were going to Ohio to celebrate their parents' 20th wedding anniversary.

Because why give your pregnant teenage daughter any sort of heads up that you're planning to run for national office, with its attendant media spotlight?

I would probably make a lousy vice president, probably worse than Sarah Palin (for one thing, I didn't grow up near Russia), but I'd definitely be a much, much better parent.

3 comments:

MexFiles said...

I'm a little disturbed that the Palins kids are so stupid that they'd believe their parents would go to Dayton Ohio for a romantic getaway.

We'd have to find a replacement for the moose-hunting bit, but rotten kids, power-hungry gobernadora (with a part indigenous hubby yet!), abuse of power, illegitimate births, the oil industry, political chancanery... this would make a great telenovela!

Anonymous said...

Let's be serious. You'd make a terrible parent, too.

chip said...

Hey dude, if Burro Hall can track down and post the nudie pics of Sarah Palin I've been fruitlessly searching the internet for, you'll be the website of the year. I LOVE the naughty librarian look.