Wednesday, October 08, 2008

My Big Fat Mexican Funeral

Mexico's hopes of beating out the US for top Lardass-Nation honors suffered a serious blow this week, when one of her best morbidly-obese invalids, 990-pound José Luis Garza, died entirely unpredictably of heart failure at the age of 47, "despite a rescue attempt that saw his bedroom wall demolished so he could be taken to hospital."

About 150 friends and family waited for more than four hours at a cemetery while carpenters built a special coffin for Mr Garza's burial.

'The family wanted to cremate him but there wasn't an adequate oven for someone his size,' funeral home worker Maribel Cantu said.

'He is the biggest man we have buried.'

Mr Garza's coffin arrived at the cemetery in a white van and 20 relatives and workers lowered it to the ground.

Mr Uribe, whose record weight of 87stone 12lb earned him a place in the 2008 Guinness Book of Records, had tried to help Garza by sending him kiwis, grapefruit, pears and a protein supplement.


Anonymous said...

I'm surprised Mr Uribe's diet didn't help. It seemed to be working for him. Maybe it was too much Kiwi and not enough protein powder.


Burro Hall said...

I believe the kiwis were wrapped in bacon.