Sunday, February 08, 2009

If You Can Read This, You Haven't Been Murdered By Mexicans Yet

The Houston Chronicle has for some odd reason decided to expend valuable investigative reporting resources in an effort to prove that a vanishingly tiny percentage of American visitors to Mexico - less than one-thousandth of one percent - come back to Uncle Sam in a pine box. Or, to put it in more inflammatory terms, Caught in the Chaos: More than 200 U.S. Citizens Killed in Mexico Since '04!!!!

More than 200 U.S. citizens have been slain in Mexico’s escalating wave of violence since 2004 — an average of nearly one killing a week, according to a Houston Chronicle investigation into the deaths....

More U.S. citizens suffered unnatural deaths in Mexico than in any other foreign country — excluding military killed in combat zones — from 2004 to 2007, State Department statistics show.

The Chronicle even includes this helpful map of the Mexican Killing Fields. It's probably unsporting to point out that the closer you get to the United States, the better chance you have of turning up dead. (Those of you contemplating a visit should be aware that Querétaro is in that vast, bloodless land mass denoted "rest of Mexico.")

We thought we'd debunked this nonsense last year, but we suppose some people have trouble using the Google. Mexico is the most popular destination for Americans, so it's not surprising that a greater number of Americans would die here than anywhere else, nor is it especially surprising that, with 60 million visitors in a four-year period, 200 wouldn't make it out alive. (We realize that many of those 60 million visits are made by the same people - statistics isn't our strong suit here. But still, c'mon.) And further down in the article, the Chronicle makes a very valid point:

The Chronicle analysis showed some American homicide victims were involved in organized crime. The dead include at least two dozen victims labeled hitmen, drug dealers, human smugglers or gang members, based on published investigators’ accusations. Others were drug users or wanted for crimes in the United States.

While the Burro Hall editorial board does not officially condone the slaughter of douchebags, neither are we convinced that hitmen and human smugglers should be afforded the same degree of pity as a vacationing pensioner. The Chronicle doesn't come right out and put a number on it, but it would seem that, of the 200 U.S Citizens Slain!!!, 130 of them simply didn't draw their own weapons fast enough. Because

in at least 70 other cases, U.S. citizens appear to have been killed while in Mexico for innocent reasons: visiting family, taking a vacation, or simply living or working there.

Seventy murders in four years, during which time Americans made 60 million visits to Mexico, which has a population of about 120 million. For the record, that's ten percent fewer murders than took place in Houston, population 2 million, in the first three months of 2008.

HPD officials say that the City of Houston has recorded the fewest numbers of murders for the first quarter of this year since 2005.

The unofficial numbers show 78 murders were recorded through the first three months of this year.

There were 88 murders for the same period in 2007. That’s an 11.3 percent decrease.

In case it's not clear, they're proud of this. And in fact, they should be. Because in 2007, Houston had the second-highest urban homicide rate in the country.

In Houston, the number of murders increased to 379 last year from 334 in 2005, a jump officials blamed in part on hurricane evacuees.

..."The homicide rate has been much higher in years past, especially the 1980s," HPD Capt. Dwayne Ready told the Chronicle in October. "Even if the number ... for 2006 hits 400 it's not a bleak picture for Houston."

If 400 people a year get gunned down in Houston, the Houston Police Dept. doesn't think it's a "bleak picture." Fifty a year (including douchebags) south of the border, and it's "Chaos." Nevertheless, if it scares fat-assed Houstonians out of coming to Mexico, we think it could be a good thing.


Anonymous said...

how come the lancaster article didn't refer to Mr. Koughan as a Cine Golden Eagle winner? The other producer was credited with what everyone knows is a worthless Emmy. Outrage.
-- Lizzie

Burro Hall said...

The phrase "Cine Golden Eagle" is the copyrighted property of CINE, Inc, and may not be used without expressed written permission. Please delete your comment.