Friday, February 20, 2009

Say Hello To My Li'l President!

Awww. It just fills us with pride when we see our Mexican brethren following America's example. Like the way we tend to make up absurdly scary scenarios to justify bad policy.

We happen to believe the War on Drugs - which Mexico is interpreting in the literal sense of sending the army to fight drug gangs - has been somewhat lacking in its conception, execution and results. Though because we're bloggers we can say that sort of thing without having to come up with a better idea. But yesterday the country's Economic Secretary, Gerardo Ruiz Mateos, explained that if the government hadn't undertaken this ridiculous uphill battle, the country would literally be run by a drug cartel in 2012.

Economy Secretary Gerardo Ruiz Mateos, said in Paris there was a risk that the next president of Mexico would be a drug dealer if the current government had not directly confronted the cartels.

"It is a serious problem, so serious that we had to confront it. It would have been it was easier to just leave the status quo, as many people said, but I can assure you that if we did that, the next president would be a narcotraficante."

Let's aside for now the question of whether this would even be the first drug-trafficker to win the Mexican presidency. While you can't go broke overestimating political corruption here, for a cartel kingpin to become president, he'd first have to be nominated by one of the major parties (admittedly, there's a lot of room for mischief there) and then run for office in a general election. While US-style negative campaigning is somewhat new here, we're pretty sure a good adman could make something of the fact that his candidate's opponent is a murderous cocaine-trafficking drug lord.

Still, Burro Hall applauds Sr. Ruiz's audacious use of the Apocalyptic Hypothetical Future - an advanced rhetorical device rarely employed in such a young democracy!

Update: Just to be clear, we don't think a cartel boss would necessarily make a bad president. These guys have executive experience managing businesses larger than GM or Microsoft, and the past year has shown that they've got an excellent sense of military strategy and tactics. You can bet that Presidente Narcotraficante would make upgrading the nation's transportation infrastructure a priority, and would have a soft spot in his heart for the farming and agricultural sector. The arts would be generously patronized, and while there would likely be an immediate and spectacular spike in violence (assuming he doesn't stock his cabinet with officials from rival cartels, there's bound to be some "taking care of unfinished business"up front), street crime would drop to zero after about a year, because, you wanna fuckin' piece of me? Plus, how fast would the US and Canada race to re-open NAFTA? There would probably be less emphasis on human rights and the rule of law, of course, but that implies you're impressed with the way things are today under our non--drug-lord regime.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a place I would consider buying property. NOT!

M