Saturday, February 28, 2009

This is Not a Shitty Blog

You remember a couple of months ago when some random dude at the Pentagon wrote a report suggesting that if Mexico didn't get a handle on its shit, the US might wind up having to invade it? You don't? No, of course you don't, because you probably never heard about it in the first place and, if you're American, you know that ain't ever happening. But Mexico, as we predicted, has been in full-scale freak-out mode ever since, with an endless parade of public officials - most recently the attorney general and the president himself - repeating the mantra that Mexico is "not a failed state" and that, y'know, even if it were, there's no reason to get all invasion-y about it.

Amigos, seriously, settle down. You ran out of silver and gold a long time ago, and we're already buying our way back into your oil company, so why would we bother to invade? But more importantly, when guys in suits stand up in front of a chemical plant and repeatedly tell us that the drinking water is safe, we generally assume that water to be full of baby-killing carcinogens. We realize this makes us cynics, but we're hardly unique in this respect. So ease back on the "we're not a failed state!" stuff, okay? Because that's exactly the kind of thing the leaders of a failed state would say.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd add "a failed society," to the description. Even Guadalupe couldn't fix this mess.

Burro Hall said...

Well, she probably deserves a fair amount of the blame for it, actually.

But, hey, does a "failed society" have Applebee's franchises? No, I don't think it does.

Anonymous said...

Did you see the 60 Min. piece tonight?
Maybe this isn't the right time to be thinking of buying a place down there to escape the winters up here. It sounds like a choice between a head cold or a head lost.

M

Burro Hall said...

One of the reasons I moved to Mexico is that they don't get 60 Minutes here. I just checked it out online, though. 23 seconds in, that overpaid haircut Anderson Cooper says that beheadings are "common" here. I stopped watching at that point. They used to have fact-checkers when I worked there.

Anonymous said...

You should have kept watching.

M

Burro Hall said...

Why? They don't pay me anymore. But anyway, of course I did. (Interested readers can, too, here." It felt like reading Burro Hall, only a couple months late and a lot more uptight. They didn't even get why this photo was funny.

I'll give them (or their fixer) big credit for talking their way into a maximum security prison for an interview with the "Queen of the Pacific," but my favorite moment is when the correspondent walks up to the entrance of the jail carrying the tripod on his shoulder. 'Cuz that happens all the time.