Tuesday, March 24, 2009

El Preppie

Having grown up in Swampscott, MA, we were very excited to see this:

Mexican authorities published a list of their most wanted drug traffickers on Monday. The attorney general’s office is offering up to $2 million for information leading to the arrest of any of 24 top traffickers on the list and up to $1 million for any of 13 lieutenants — more than double previous rewards. The list was the government’s first public breakdown of major traffickers, who are listed by cartel and include aliases like the Taliban, the Monkey and Marblehead.

Hands down, the pussiest gangster nickname ever! Plus, it just seems destined that a guy from Swampscott would bring him in and collect the $2mil. How hard could it be to find a Mexican guy dressed in boat shoes, green slacks, an Izod shirt and a whale belt? Unfortunately, the having read the list linked to above, and another one here, we can't find anyone nicknamed Marblehead (cabeza de mármol), nor, for that matter, "The Monkey." (El Taliban is there; we're not touching him.)

Until someone can point us in the right direction (and we'd be grateful if you could), the title of "Pussiest Gangster Nickname" will be awarded provisionally to Edgar "La Barbie" Valdez Villarreal.


Anonymous said...

So Im confused here. Some papers refer to Joaquin Guzman as "shorty" and some "el chapo." Are they both his aka's? Are they actually two different people? I cant keep up with my narco nicknames.

Burro Hall said...

"Chapo" means "Shorty." Given the option, I'd just call him "Sir."

Anonymous said...

wow! shame on me. I cannot believe I didn't realize that. Not only did I spend a year in Queretaro going el Tec, I am supposed to bilingual. oops!

Anonymous said...

Sure he's #1 at the top of the Hit Man Parade, but does "El Barbie" count as a Mexican gangster? He's a U.S. citizen, born and ill-bred in Texas.

Burro Hall said...

...which we may be adding to the list of failed states soon.

The real question is, is being on the Mexican gov'ts Most Wanted list (which, to say the least, means you're cool) cool enough to cancel out the fact that your handle comes from a little girl's dolly? I don't think so, but I'm open to debate.