Saturday, March 14, 2009

Rhymes with 'Insanity'

A couple nights ago the ever-intelligent Sean Hannity brought his analytical skills to bear on the issue of spring break in Mexico, during a three-way with Fox News bimbettes Kimmy Guilfoyle [top] and Courtney Friel [bottom]. Let's listen in, shall we?

HANNITY (voice-over): But beyond the fruity drinks, packed clubs and the sandy beaches, lies the gritty backdrop of drug violence that has exploded over the last two years and is now threatening the lives of tourists.

There were more than 6000 drug-related murders in Mexico last year, and cartels are dumping decapitated bodies in the streets every single day. Just last month, a retired general hired to dismantle the cartels running rampant in Cancun, was kidnapped and brutally tortured. His body was left on the side of the road.

With the violence out of control, some in the Mexican government feared the brazen drug runners might start singling out tourists, much like terrorists have done in Bali and Mumbai.

HANNITY: And joining us now is FOX News anchor and analysts, Kimberly Guilfoyle, and FOX News correspondent, Courtney Friel.

Guys, good to see you. All right. Any parent, my take on this. We have literally 100,000-man armies in these drug cartels, and any parent that sends their kid to go to Mexico on spring break I think is nuts. Agree?

COURTNEY FRIEL, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: Well, actually, the good news is I randomly Googled a couple travel agents and called them up. And they said that there is no interest any more in Mexico, and those that have had trips planned cancelled [sic] them. And they're not trying to encourage them to go.

HANNITY: But there are still some parents that are not getting this.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: They're not getting it. They're not getting it. Don't let your children go. You will be sorry if you do. I'm telling you. Why would you want to take that kind of risk and put your child in that kind of danger? Even in Cancun. Sure, there's fabulous resorts there like the Ritz Carlton, et cetera. That's not where they're going like spring break. And those drug cartels operating there, people have been murdered. It's all over Mexico.

HANNITY: There's a movie out, and I forget the name of it. Liam Nielsen [sic] is in it, right now, where his daughter is abducted when she travels abroad. And I would be like him, except I'm not as, you know, talented at beating people up. But any time your child leaves the country, there's a risk.

GUILFOYLE: Look at Aruba.

HANNITY: Looking to Aruba.

GUILFOYLE: Natalee Holloway. There is a risk. And you know what? During this economic — we're having this hardship in this country. How about buy American, travel American? This is an amazing country. Why not you and your family, with your children, take a trip, see a part of the country...

HANNITY: Go to Vegas. Vegas is something.

GUILFOYLE: Spend your dollars here. Is that such a bad idea, Sean.

HANNITY: Last word?

GUILFOYLE: Absolutely. I think there's a lot of other alternatives that are safe, that are prudent, that also support the American economy now, and you should choose that, choose wisely for your children.

Kinda like the Special Olympics, but less heartwarming, isn't it? Anyway, Burro Hall heartily endorses Sean Hannity's suggestion that anyone who takes Sean Hannity seriously should stay the fuck out of Mexico. Seriously, it's not safe for you here. Go to Vegas. No crime or corruption there - just good, clean family entertainment. American family entertainment!


Anonymous said...

Come on! If Hannity says it, it MUST be true!!!
All you need now is for our dear friend and fact guru, Rush, to repeat the story and there won't be a parent in the good old U S of A sending their kids to such a horrible place.
Vegas - look out! Here they come!


t.a.m.s.y. said...

Last time I was in Vegas, I heard numerous eyewitness reports of an entire bachelor party getting killed at the Baccarat table.

Burro Hall said...

Am I a bad person because I read that as "humorous eyewitness reports"?

t.a.m.s.y. said...

No, it was very humorous, because they were recent Princeton grads. Totally had it coming.