Thursday, April 09, 2009

Unchain My Heart

From a police pamphlet dealing with Holy Week safety and security we find (in the section gently reminding us that things like carrying open containers of alcohol are in fact illegal) the Euphemism of the Month: it is against the law, dear reader, "to do physiological necessities in public."

Now, we're not completely obtuse - we know what they mean to say is "don't shit in the dancing fountains" - but, as written, it appears to be against the law for your heart to beat outside of your home, or for your kidneys to filter impurities from the bloodstream. We're not sure just how enforceable this is, but given the peacock-like display being put on by the QPD this week, it might make sense for us to stay indoors until at least Monday.

(The two previous items, "Committing moral failings" and "Causing scandal in a state of inebriation," are also the kind of things we can see ourselves running into trouble with - though at least they're more subjective than "breathing and circulating blood" [one man's scandal is another man's "mistakes were made"], so our attorneys would have something to work with. Basically, we'll just be glad when Semana Santa is over.)


Anonymous said...

It just means you shouldn't pee on the street. Same here in NYC, you'll get a ticket if you do it although plenty of guys pee on the subways. You'll like this one, it's great. Finally a magazine like businessweek does something positive towards Mexico, and on the video they mention Queretaro.

Burro Hall said...

Whew! Because I was genuinely worried I'd be thrown in jail for exhaling.

Bizweek's obviously trying to curry favor with Burro Hall (and how creepy is their executive editor, by the way?) I love the fact that, even though it's a positive article, the cover features a pair of crossed semi-automatic rifles. Why not just a bunch of decapitated corpses?

As Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman once said, "Whom the Gods would destroy, they first put on the cover of Business Week.” As if the gods haven't done enough for pobre Mexico.