Thursday, July 16, 2009

An Open Letter to the Popular Revolutionary Army (EPR)

Amigos,

We notice it's been about two years since you managed to grab some headlines with the bold, albeit largely pointless, gesture of blowing up the gas pipelines that supply our fair city. Happy anniversary.

We don't know what you've got on the agenda for Summer '09, and we're certainly not trying to put any ideas in your heads, but there are these gas trucks that circulate around the Centro early in the morning blasting a hideous, super-fucking-annoying corporate jingle. They must pass by our offices five or six times a day, starting around 8:00 in the morning. The company - again, apropos of absolutely nothing, just making conversation here - is headquartered out on 5 de Febrero. They got a lot of trucks there, and what look to be some pretty massive propane tanks.


We're hardly experts in the field of demolition and detonation, but we imagine this place would light up like an exceedingly telegenic Christmas tree. And to the extent that winning hearts and minds is important to you, the ensuing early-morning silence here in the Centro would probably earn you a bit more gratitude than your previous idea of depriving the populace of hot water and the ability to cook food for half a week.

Anyhoo, we're just kinda spitballing ideas here, brainstorming in a non-accessory-to terrorism kind of way, y'know, and thought you might find this kind of intriguing.

Atentemente
,

Burro Hall

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh PLEASE don't encourage that group in any way. They've already proven that they're not very clever so an incling of an idea may be all that they need.

That gas company jiggle and "Thriller" apparently are battling for number one spot on the pop charts here.
S

Anonymous said...

Clicked the link & listened to your gas truck playing music -- not bad -- in Oaxaca the gas trucks make a loud (how to describe it?) COW vocalization, sort of a BWAAAAAAAA followed by GAS DE OAXACA over & over again -- and they start around 6:30 am and drive around and around the block. Like you missed it the first time!

Burro Hall said...

Chiapas has a similar thing, but their trucks drag behind them a chain with metal rings. Because what better place to be creating a lot of metal-on-pavement sparks than the underside of a truck full of propane?

You know who said...

Uhhhh.... chains have been used to ground vehicles carrying explosive gases ever since Ben Franklin figured out it made it the safest way to transport such gases. It's not only in Chiapas you see this, but just about everywhere on the planet where bottled gas is carried.

Burro Hall said...

Bottled gas is carried in chain-free in Querétaro, which has been known to align itself on occasion with planet Earth (albeit infrequently). New York City, too, but we could argue for days whether that's a fair representation of Earth.

Why Franklin thought creating sparks would make the transportation of propane safer is beyond me, but then you'd never catch me flying a kite in a thunderstorm, either.