Tuesday, March 02, 2010

And Friends, They May Thinks It's a Movement!

Our post last week on the Temperance Union's "No More Bars!" campaign led one of our regular commenters to accuse us of "inconsistency" - since we have in the past used this space as a forum for the occasional noise complaint - and to describe the intern who wrote the post as a "true ignoramus." (And then, this being Querétaro, he came over for dinner and we had a delightful time...because the "gringo community" really is.)

But bad manners shouldn't obscure a good point! We can admit when we're wrong. We'd been trying to draw a distinction between lodging a complaint and salting the earth, but maybe that's the wrong approach. Maybe the time has come to take action against the most disruptive, inconsiderate establishment in the Centro Historico - an organization that has been known to serve red wine at all hours without a license, so our crusade should dovetail rather nicely with the "No More Bars!" thing. We're talking, obviously, about the Catholic Church.

Whenever the concussive explosion of fireworks shakes us from our beds in the wee hours of the morning, it's the church, not drunken barflies, that's the source of the noise. If there are a dozen people marching past our window singing songs before sunrise, chances are, they're drunk on the Holy Spirit. None of the local antros chime their bells at 5:00AM, but the churches seem to compete for the honor of waking everyone up the earliest. The hundreds of pilgrims who descend on the Centro a half-dozen times every year, camping in the plazas, cooking in the streets, pissing God only knows where, can hold their own, stench-wise, with even the most determined sidewalk-shitting bar patrons. This guy? He doesn't work for a bar.

And this is just their everyday sociopathic behavior. Don't get us started on the major holidays or the dancing-Indians festivals. Noisy, obnoxious crowds? Check. Parking problems? Amen. And as you can see here on this map of the Centro, there are more churches than taco stands in this town. Isn't it about time someone said "Enough! No More Churches"?

We think it is. And if you have a color printer, you can, too:

[Concerned citizens who prefer not to take on the Church directly - probably a wise choice; this is the Diocese spokesman - may prefer to use this less-confrontational "no more fireworks" sign instead. Theoretically, it could apply to anyone - anyone who's enough of a dick to light off fireworks at 5:00AM, we mean.]

We look forward to working with all our peace-loving neighbors to rid the Centro of this holy menace once and for all.


ckg said...

damn straight

Anonymous said...

Where is all this shit everyone talks about? I don't see much shit in the Centro historico. The prevalence of shits, however, is overwhelming. They're everywhere.

Burro Hall said...

Beats me. I even clean up after the perro. Probably an urban legend.

Anonymous said...

What about the dumb ass drivers for the gas companies. They drive through Queretaro with their loudpseakers at full volume beginning at 6:30 AM until 10 PM in some colonias. I say ban their asses!

Burro Hall said...

Well, don't just sit there...print up a sign!