Saturday, July 10, 2010

Sábado Gigante

* Mexicans are so lazy, they can't even bother to let their kids out of school until July 9! Two things we learn from this article. (1) If the school across the street from our offices is typical, Mexican kids learn nothing but the National Anthem all day long, but at the end of the year they get a free backpack, so it's totally worth it. (2) There's a school in Querétaro called The Bicentennial of Mexican Independence Elementary School, which we think is going to be a deeply uncool place to be as of September 17.

* Hurricane Alex unearths the remains of a woolly mammoth in Nueva Leon, which is of course immediately picked clean by thieves.

* We might not be so quick to slam the door on the next proselytizing Jesus freak who shows up unannounced.
He was paid to murder businessmen, local government officials and senior policemen, never small-time smugglers. The hitman apparently worked for Guzman, but refused to say the kingpin's name. "You know who I mean," the hitman said.

After 20 years in the business, he couldn't take it anymore and he got out. "I've changed my life." He holds a Bible, he is repentant, he is a born-again Christian.

* Meanwhile, another group of Jesus freaks were walking along a major highway on a pilgrimage from Querétaro to San Luis, when a tractor trailer swerved to avoid hitting them, flipped over, and left the driver critically injured. Diario de Querétaro unironically proclaims it a 'miracle.'

* So this is why we can't get good lambchops here.

* Nightlife reporting in this town leaves a lot to be desired. Not that the daytime entertainment is anything to get excited about, of course.

* Vintage Mexican ads.

* Mugshot of the week. Really, the only thing more disturbed than raping a schizophrenic teenager is doing it dressed as a clown. But that goes without saying.

* Question for the AP Stylebook: Is "douchebags" one word or two?


victor said...

Frank..always love Hastily SSST, and this was no exception..Sheep story is particularly interesting. New Zealand becomes more important by the second. Did these guys not look around and say..Opps,not much grass here.

Burro Hall said...

Between that and the Lord of the Rings cycle, we're really just living in New Zealand's world, aren't we?