Sunday, October 03, 2010

Sábado Gigante

* We're broadcasting from Boston for the next several days, where we'll leading a delegation of prominent Mexicans at the funeral of our Executive Editor's grandfather - who, in one of those great cosmic coincidences we love so much, will be laid to rest on the 40th anniversary of the death of Janis Joplin. We've left the interns in charge of the Querétaro office, so we apologize in advance if the posting is somewhat light and incoherent this week.

* Forget it, beanpole gringos...this is too little, too late.

* Having solved every other health problem facing the populace, the Querétaro legislature's Health Commission is turning its focus to energy drinks like Red Bull. One of the specific objections is that the slogan "Red Bull gives you wings" is not literally true. So now you know.

* And we thought the shittiest thing we did the Guatemalans was to overthrow President Arbenz.

* If you're compiling a list of the World's Crappiest Jobs, Mayor of Anywhere in Mexico has gotta be pretty close to the top.

* And the poor bastards were probably honest - unlike mayors in the Failed State of Arizona. (Where the sheriffs are kind of full of shit, too.)

* Also, avoid Texas if you're smart.

* The anti-immigrant knuckleheads are calling for the arrest of Meg Whitman, Republican candidate for CA governor - and for once, we agree! Because we, too, support Jerry Brown.

* Speaking of illegal aliens, it appears a bunch of them infiltrated the Bicentennial Parade in Mexico City.

* And before you whine about immigrants lowering your standard of living, check out where you stand on a global scale.

* Huauzapalooza!

* There's actually a brand of Jeans here called Magic Pomp, which loosely translates as "Magic Buttcheeks Jeans," Which is an even better than than Burro Jeans, which we see has, somewhat unsurprisingly, gone out of business.

* The United States of Mexico is considering shortening the name of the country to just Mexico, presumably to stimulate the economy through a massive re-ordering of government stationery. Pravda amusingly titles its article on this "United States Gradually Disappear From World Map."

* The General's obituary, because some of you have asked.


Anonymous said...

Of course it would be a father and son of latino descent accused of corruption in the U.S., "La Mordida" is part of their mexican culture.

Dave said...

Of course. These things would never be done by non-latinos.

Makes law enforcement a lot easier too.

Danger in Texas and Arizona said...

All latinos should avoid Texas and Arizona, they will be either, kidnapped, raped or murdered.

Go to Mexico instead where you will be protected by fellow latinos.

Burro Hall said...

Thanks DaTaA. We'll amend our warning to say that you really shouldn't even get near Texas. God, what a shit-show that state is. Thanks for the heads-up.