Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Orange Crush

For years now, the editorial position of this blog has been that Mexico is a perfectly safe place to live. Of course, Mexico hasn't exactly gone out of her way to back us up on this, and over time we've been forced to moderate our position: first to "It's not as dangerous as the media would have you believe," then, "It's not spectacularly dangerous everywhere," and finally, "It's never been more affordable to visit!" (Did we mention our magnificent villa in Zihuatanejo is costing us just $116 a night?)

But one thing that hasn't changed is the fact that, whatever craziness may be happening in other pockets of Mexican territory, the city of Querétaro remains - in the eyes of someone who lived for 20 years in New York - absurdly, almost comically, safe.

But don't take a clueless gringo's word for it. Mexicans themselves are voting with their feet: every 24 hours, 52 families move to the tiny state from somewhere else within the country, giving Querétaro one of the highest internal migration rates in the nation. (We imagine it's only a matter of time before restaurants featuring whatever the regional specialty of Ciudad Juárez is start popping up around town.) According to this article, Justice officials put the number of "executions" in the state (population 1.7 million) this year at (drumroll please...) four. We're a little skeptical, frankly - they probably means drug-related killings only - but as regular readers of the local papers we'd be surprised to learn the actual number was substantially higher. Simply put, there's a difference between Mexico in general and Querétaro. In addition to sharing with the world some cute pictures of our perro, the Burro Hall editorial board hopes to do its part to spread this knowledge and understanding.

Another organization dedicated to spreading knowledge and understanding is the International Sister Cities Association. So we were more than a little astonished to read comments by Bobbie Druilhet, president of the Orange (CA) Sister Cities Association, concerning her city's sister city...Querétaro:

In addition to expensive costs, Druilhet says trips to the closest sister city, Querétaro, Mexico, came with too many security issues.

"Before, we were sending about 15 to 20 students to Mexico," she said. "But right now the situation with Mexico is extremely dangerous. We keep in touch with them, but not the same way as it used to be."

Sigh. Did we mention she's the president of an organization created to foster friendship and cooperation between Orange and Querétaro (and Novo Kosino, Russia, and Timaru, New Zealand, among others)? Currently in her 12th term as Orange Sister Cities Assn president, Ms. Druilhet strikes us as a walking argument for term limits, and the Burro Hall editorial board hereby calls for her immediate resignation and public self-disembowelment.

One of our long-time pet projects has been to make Boston and Querétaro Sister Cities. Mostly, this was a cynical effort undertaken with the expectation that, if it succeeded, we'd be able to weasel our way onto the various delegations and travel back to our hometown for free. But somehow, something went awry and we found ourselves listed as the official representative for the Querétaro Sister Cities program:

Our BOS+QRO crusade sort of fell by the wayside, but Ms. Druilhet's stupefying ignorance has persuaded us that Querétaro needs us now more than ever. Our first official act as President of the Querétaro Sister Cities Assn. is to declare that, from this day forward, Orange, USA and Santiago de Querétaro, Mexico are no longer sister cities. This is not solely due to the idiocy of Ms. Bobbie Druhilet, but also because it has come to our attention that Orange, with a population of just 140,000, has already had three murders this year and, as such, is considered extremely dangerous by Querétaro standards, to the point where it would really just be irresponsible to send our children there as Goodwill Ambassadors.

Our third official act will be to open negotiations with our counterpart in Massachusetts, as soon as we figure out who the hell that is.


pc said...

Why do want to hide the truth? Don't you know "Mexico" is an Aztec word for "concentration camp"? And "gangrape"? And "decapitation"? (It was a versatile word.) The last time I was there, a Mexican thug cut my arm off and beat me to death with it. And so here I am, an armless corpse struggling to type thanks to your "safe Mexico".

Burro Hall said...

You may apply for a refund at our Guadalajara office Mondays through Wednesdays, from Noon to 2PM.

Burro Hall regrets the error.

Anonymous said...

Orange can send those students to Lawrence, Kansas.

Puro Chisme said...

The american are estupido don't they realize web-sites like this are just a fake snuff blog.

Do those stupid americans really believe heads are rolling in the streets of mexico, mexican be-headings are a myth in Mel Gibson movies.

Burro Hall said...

Those poor Americans. All they wanted to do was visit Querétaro on a cultural exchange goodwill mission, and look what happened!

Operation Choke Hold said...

More gringo lies !!!!!!!!


Federal and local law enforcement agents have arrested 45 people and seized cash, guns and more than two tons of drugs as part of an investigation into the Atlanta-area U.S. distribution hub of a major Mexican drug cartel, authorities said Thursday

Burro Hall said... did you imagine all those drugs get to their paying American customers? They drive down to Juárez to pick them up?