Saturday, November 20, 2010

Sábado Gigante

* The fabled "death panels" are now a reality! Where? Why, in the Failed State of Arizona, of course. And al Qaeda's scheme to cover the US in "victory mosques" and impose Sharia law? Also a reality in the FSoAZ! You want heartless government bureaucrats turning their backs on our heroic veterans? You know where to go! Be careful, though - thanks to President Obama, cold-blooded killers and child molesters come spilling over the border all the time.

* Mass-murderer spillover is a problem on the San Diego-Tijuana border as well. Why won’t Obama finish that wall?

* In fact homicidal Americans are spilling over from as far away as Wisconsin. “U.S. Marshal Doug Bachert, a lead investigator in Milwaukee hunting for Lopez. “[US Marshal] Bachert said that Lopez's arrest should serve as a message to other criminals who might try to flee to Mexico. ‘It's not the safe haven it once was,’ he said.” On the other hand, it’s never been more affordable.

* US Drug Czar Gil Kerlikowske: "Drug use in America drives instability and violence in Mexico." No shit, Sherlock! Still, it's nice to hear someone with a West Wing office say it.

* Texas Gov. Rick “Dick” Perry won’t take Federal tax dollars to create jobs or insure old people, but definitely thinks we should invest in an invasion of Mexico. Man, Molly Ivins sure picked a shitty time to be dead.

* We know it has nothing to do with events in Europe in the 1930s and 40s, but it still creeps us out a little when Mexican officials do this.

* Twelve-year-old cartel hitman makes $3,000 per scalp. When we were 12, we had a paper route that actually managed to lose money. This kid is going places.

* Dallas Morning News’s Alfredo Corchado is a friend of a friend, but we’ve never managed to hook up with him here. That’s starting to seem like a good thing.

* This is an absolute master class in boo-hoo-hooing. If Bill Gheen were simply to weep all his tears into the Rio Grande, the river would run too deep and fast to swim across.

* The Library of Congress has some images from the Revolution online here. Bear in mind, the camera adds 15 pounds to Mrs. Pancho Villa.

*We always hear that "Mexicans know their history." That’s probably true; they just don’t understand it very well.

* UNESCO declares Mexican food treasured part of the world’s Intangible Heritage, giving it its rightful place alongside Turkish oil wrestling. We don’t understand how anything involving habanero chiles can be considered “intangible.”

*Sound advice for eating un-regulated Mexican street food.

* One of the more baffling facts about Querétaro is that a city of 730,000 people has a volunteer fire department. On the other hand, none of the houses appear to be built out of anything flammable.

* American basic-cable TV show to feature undocumented Mexican crimefighter. Batshit-crazies go batshit crazy.

* The Medium is the Message: The Independent Cartel of Acapulco sends a message urging the civilian population to remain calm. Unfortunately, they do so via narcomanta, which tends to have the effect of undermining one’s calmness.

* Holiday gift idea for your favorite Mexican death-porn aficionado (many of whom will be arriving in this post’s comment section any minute now): the Confani Funebri coffin company’s 2011 cheesecake calendar.

* We have our doubts about the un-Photoshoppedness of this photo.

* Same goes for this gallery of Mexico’s most serious journalist, Querétaro’s own Ines Sainz.

* U Can’t Touch This:


Mexico Lindo said...

Damn Arizona needs to learn from lovely mexico.

Anonymous said...

Mexican's love their teachers.


CHIHUAHUA, Chih.- Cientos de profesores del estado han sido acosados por delincuentes, quienes les piden 50 por ciento de su aguinaldo, o de lo contrario los amenazan con dañarlos a ellos, a su familia o a sus alumnos.

Burro Hall said...

And Harry Potter, too.