Tuesday, December 21, 2010

And His Hair Was Perfect

So it took about a day after the release of Jefe Diego Fernández de Cevallos [right] for the Santa Claus jokes to run their course and the conspiracy-theorizing to kick into high gear.
Today's editorial in El Universal sets the tone. On the one hand, they might just be trying to defend their three-week jumping of the gun, since we prefer the elaborate conspiracy to the easy laugh, we hope they were right and will be the first to apologize if that's the case.

Basically, it all boils down to, Man, he looks good, doesn't he? But still, a 70 year old guy is held hostage for seven months, and suddenly appears one morning, offering no information about his captivity or any details about how he came to be standing in front of his own home (having arrived at his impromptu press conference behind the wheel of his own Mercedes) - and he looks great! Certainly better than he did in September, when his captors released this picture of him. His beard seems to have grown a hell of a lot in 3 months (though, as the MexFiles noted, his hair did not). And while a message he sent his family several months ago refered to his captivity as "hell," he now says they treated him like a prince.

Add to this the fact that, three days after his disappearance, his family insisted that the government and the police back off and let them handle this - which they did - and you have a situation where one of the country's major political figures has been missing for half a year and literally no one outside his spectacularly dysfunctional family has any idea what's been going on. And based on the first 36 hours, at least, they don't seem to be talking.

To be clear, we don't think for a minute that he wasn't actually kidnapped (the fact that his anti-kidnapping tracking chip was carved out of his body with scissors kind of sealed that one for us), but everything after that seems a bit of a mystery to us, so let the feverish speculation begin.



Oh My God !!!
Stop the presses, Diego Fernández de Cevallos got a haircut !!!!

Burro Hall said...

Now why didn't I think of that? It's early in the morning, I've just been released by kidnappers, without question the first thing I'd do is go somewhere and get my hair cut. Then, if I were Cevallos, I'd go to Liverpool and pick up one of my trademark baggy gray sweatsuit-and-t-shit ensembles and prepare to meet the press.

Graucho Marx said...

A more compelling question is, why didn't Diego Fernández de Cevallos trim those bushy eyebrows?