Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Shattering the "Dumb Jock" Stereotype

As graduates of Boston College, we're familiar with the lax admission standards at Notre Dame, especially as regards its football team, but even we were surprised to learn that the Fighting Irish starting lineup is made of guys who consider a late-night romp in Ciudad Juárez not just a good idea, but an irresistible one - so irresistible, in fact, that the coach feels it prudent to confiscate everyone's passports.

With the Irish set to arrive in El Paso, Texas, on Sunday to prepare for their game against Miami (Fla.) in the Sun Bowl on Dec. 31, [Coach Brian] Kelly is forbidding his players from crossing the border to Juarez, Mexico. He’s even having them turn in their passports to avoid trouble. The message is far more serious than the standard "Don’t drink the water."

"Don’t go over the border or you may not come back," Kelly said. "I know that El Paso is the safest city in the country. But it’s serious [in Mexico]. It’s not, ‘Hey, let’s jump in the car and see what it’s like.’ You can’t go there or nobody’s going to be able to help you."

On the other hand, it's never been more affordable!

We've been to South Bend, so we understand how five years there could make a young man want to risk having his own decapitation broadcast on YouTube for the chance to see a donkey show - but is El Paso really that boring?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Burro, let me tell you why they would go to Juarez, and why they think the risk might be worth it. (as an Ivy league ex-football player). Not women, not alcohol, not donkeys, perhaps not recreational drugs. STEROIDS. They crave for roids, juice, they take them all the time, and the price in Mexico is like 10 times cheaper. That's why the football team are willing to cross the border, and we (football players) know what the coach means. ;)

Burro Hall said...

I'll buy that theory - though I assumed they got their juice for free from some network of alumni.

Anonymous said...

Why did the chicken cross the road? (there are lots of dangers for chicken crossing the roads) The chicken needs hormones to have a huge and juicy breast and thigs.