Saturday, January 01, 2011

Sábado Gigante

* 2010 was a rough year for Mexico, at least as measured by the number of decapitated corpses left strewn along the highways. And if 540 heavily-armed ladies can't keep law and order in Juárez in 2011, who can? Why, the Catholic Church's soon-to-be-formed squad of crime-fighting exorcists, that's who! We don't want to go too far out on a limb with our new year's predictions, but we're pretty confident the Battle of Armageddon will be fought here in Mexico, possibly on Dec. 21, 2012.

* Some magnificent genius scoured the WikiLeaks cables for naturally-occurring haikus. Mexico so far produced only one:

Whether such tactics
    will have a chilling effect
remains to be seen.

* 2010 was (who knew?) one of the best years ever for Mexican archeology. And that's not even counting all the drug tunnels under the US-Mex border. And yet they're still not even halfway finished burying the phone and electric cables here in the Centro Historico.

* We mentioned before that Mexico City was suspending breathalyzer tests on Christmas and New Year's. And now comes the announcement that this city of 20 million people had no arrests for drunk driving on Christmas! As of this writing, no news on New Year's, but we think we can guess.

* As of 9:23AM, there have been no drug-related murders so far in 2011. And Mexico has never been more affordable.

Update: Well, that didn't last long. The body count for Jan 1, 2011 is being reported as 27. The good news is, that puts us on pace for a year-end total of 9,855 - down more than 200 from 2010!

* Meanwhile, the Failed State of Arizona descends even further into lawlessness and violence, as a state legislator is beaten and robbed on Christmas Day. The representative was relived of his GMC Yukon and Rolex Submariner, which he had somehow been able to afford on a state representative's salary. Meanwhile "U.S. citizen with an extensive criminal history and outstanding warrants for domestic violence and drug possession" is arrested in Tuscon while transporting 30,000 rounds of ammunition towards the Mexican border.

* But because it's the holiday season, we'll concede that there are some genuine non-failures living and working in AZ, too.

* We're confident we'll be reading more stories like this in 2011.

* According to the San Antonio Express-News "Violence in Mexico's Impact on Texas Was Year's Top Local Story," despite the fact that the violence in Mexico's impact on Texas was minimal to nonexistent.

* (Unless of course they're referring to the outrageous crackdown in which Comrade Obama intends to force arms dealers to report multiple semi-automatic rifle purchases to the ATF. Does no one remember the Alamo anymore??)

* A great photo archive of early 20th Century images of border-region musicians.

* A nativity made of radishes in Oaxaca.

* We have to admit, we never expected when we first moved here that we'd be watching Mexico turn into the most gay-friendly nation on Earth, but that's Mexico for ya - full of surprises.

* If you haven't seen Machete yet, we'll save you a couple of hours:

* This Week In Mexican Half-Naked Celebrity Sightings: LeAnn Rimes, Paris Hilton, Bar Refaeli/Cindy Crawford/ Naomi Campbell, and that chick George Clooney is dating.

* Mexico is also a great place for Americans looking to have sex with animals.


Anonymous said...

very nice Mr Clooney

Feliz Ano Nuevo said...

I guess this must have really happened in Arizona.

"En las primeras horas del 2011 en Nuevo León ya se presentan dos ejecuciones, la violencia no para y deja a dos hombres sin vida, uno en el municipio de Monterrey y otro en San Pedro Garza García."

"Durante las primeras horas del 2011, una familia fue atacada en Guerrero por un comando armado que terminó con un festejo realizado en unas canchas, ubicadas en la comunidad de Piedra Imán, en la zona conocida como Tierra Caliente."

"Alrededor de las 00:02 de hoy 1 de enero, un comando armado atacó a elementos de la Secretaría de Seguridad Pública del Estado de Nuevo León, según reportes, los uniformados circulaban en su patrulla sobre los límites de San Nicolás y Monterrey"

Pinche Gringos said...

Meanwhile "U.S. citizen with an extensive criminal history and outstanding warrants for domestic violence and drug possession" is arrested in Tuscon while transporting 30,000 rounds of ammunition towards the Mexican border.

Did you forget to mention the other two who were arrested are Mexicans? And the U.S. citizen is of mexican descent.

"One of the men is a U.S. citizen, the other two are Mexican nationals, ICE officials said."

Burro Hall said...

In your Mexophobic world, wouldn't that be a dog-bites-man story?