Saturday, January 15, 2011

Sábado Gigante

* Correction: The 2010 Mexican Drug War Body Count turns out to be 15,273, not 10,088 as we reported. And last year, the country fell from 43rd to 53rd in the Legatum Prosperity Index, and has been downgraded from Free to Partly Free in the Freedom House survey. Also, it has come to our attention that as recently as the 1994 peso crisis, Mexico was considerably more affordable than it is now. Burro Hall regrets the error.


* One statistic we'd love to see is how many people within 100 yards of Jared Loughner were packing heat. "When everyone is carrying a firearm, nobody is going to be a victim," said Surprise, AZ's Republican (surprise!) State Rep. Jack Harper. The shooting happened on a Saturday morning an enormous supermarket in a shopping mall in Arizona, a state where the only people not carrying guns are those who prefer knives. We'll conservatively estimate, what, 300 guns capable of putting Loughner in the crosshairs? More than enough to maintain a well-regulated militia. Yet he managed to shoot 20 people before being tackled by a bystander.

* But if you're in Tuscon for one of the funerals and you've got some time to kill today, head on over to the Crossroads of the West gun show. (Limit 12 per customer.)

* “I know everyone in the country thinks World War III is going on in Arizona, but it’s probably still the nicest place I can think of to live,” Rep. Giffords's surgeon said. Must suck when the media focuses only on the lurid stuff, huh?

* Latinos wondering how they could become more hated in the United States have an epiphany: Let's try converting to Islam! (Related: 2011 is The Year of Mexico in France.)

* The billion-dollar "virtual border fence" collapses into the Great Lake of Fail. Maybe we can convert the Star Wars missile defense system to shoot brown people along the Rio Grande.

* Not that the Border Patrol needs any help shooting them, of course. Their problem is more in getting their stories straight. Perhaps this course can help.

* America, like the good neighbor she is, keep sending her best citizens over the border to Mexico. Thanks! (Thanks for this, too, neighbor!)

*"There are ways in which we are contributing to this problem, not just in our [drug] use in America and therefore the demand, but also in the gun trafficking and flow of weapons that have empowered people to engage in a kind of civil war within that country," said John Kerry, US Senator, former presidential candidate, and Chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee, who, because he is not a conservative Republican, need not be taken seriously.

* We know what you're wondering: 15,000 narco-murders...how will that affect Home Depot's expansion plans?

* Maybe they should have picked different names: The Civility Project shuts down due to lack of civility. Woman who coined phrase "Not One More Death," is found dead. (Though it turns out that her strangled, handless corpse had nothing to do with organized crime. Just a weird coincidence.)

* Diana's Kennedy's tamales have a thick, tough husk. Diana Kennedy, not so much.

* For our readers who enjoy stories about foreigners getting shot in Mexico (you know who you are), Burro Hall Canine Affairs correspondent CM Mayo will be reading from her novel The Last Prince of the Mexican Empire next Wednesday in San Miguel de Allende.

* Mexico's go-to pope, John Paul II, officially performed a miracle by curing a woman of Parkinson's. Added to his miracle of keeping Fr. Marcial Maciel out of prison, that should be enough for sainthood.

* The Archbishop of Querétaro's New Year's address declares Catholics to be "among the most persecuted in the world." Vows to retaliate with 5:00AM fireworks for the rest of the year.

* You know things are crazy in Mexico when one death cult is trying to distance itself from what it considers the other, lunatic death cult.

* Querétanos: Making the cheese graters Americans won't.

* Mexico: even the beer is gay.

* We finally found a donkey show! Typically, it's in Santa Monica, CA.

* Best wishes to frequent commenter "M" for a speedy recovery. Could be worse.

2 comments:

Theodorus the Atheist said...

I demand a DNA test of Sister Marie Simon-Pierre to confirm she did indeed have Parkinson's disease.

Although keeping Fr. Marcial Maciel Degollado out of carcel is undisputed reason to beatify John Paul II

C.M. Mayo said...

Hola Burro Hall, thanks for the mention of the event in SMA. I may be reading about Rio Frio. Pats to the pug.