Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sábado Gigante

* Former Florida governor and proud papá of three anchor babies, Jeb Bush, thinks Hispanics and Republicans should be natural allies, because they have so much in common. With recent surveys showing that very few Mexicans read books, care about culture, or believe in science, we have to agree it's sort of a match made in Heaven.

* Also, Mexicans and Republicans go way back.

* From the Self-Correcting Blogosphere: contrary to our early-morning rant, it turns out the Nissan Tsuru ("Piece of Shit" in Spanish) is in fact the most-stolen car in Mexico. So those alarms are really working.

* Three well-bred young ladies from the FSoAZ take a break from having sex with their stepdads to discuss their views on immigration. Is it possible that Bristol Palin might actually raise the state's collective IQ?

* One thing that might make us suspend our FSoAZ Travel Advisory: lion tacos.

* The number of innocent civilians killed in Drug War crossfire skyrockets 172%, 166. Out of 15,000. (And before the Flying Monkey Brigade alights for the comment section, yes, these figures are highly suspect...)

* Compared to parts of the US, Mexico is dangerous. Compared to Latin America, not so much.

* Surfing With the Aliens: Joe Satriani won't play Arizona, but you can catch him in Mexico City tonight and tomorrow.

* Not for the squeamish: Queretaro tourism officials kidnapped two gringa students this week, and forced them to make this promotional video before beheading them:

* Another Mexican journalist gets death threats for reporting on the folks who supply America her drugs and seeks asylum in America. And of course the odds are against him getting it.

* So the going rate to hire a Texan to smuggle body armor into Mexico is $150. Wonder how much it would take to get them to secede.

* "My name in Pancho, and I'm an alcoholic, which you can tell because I'm walking into this conspicuously-painted "Alcoholics Anonymous" building..."

* The Mexican media finally gets a scary black man of its own!

* Killing has always been a way of life in northern Mexico.

* If George Lucas believes the world is ending in 2012, then we're discontinuing this blog so we can devote more time to building an ark.

* Besides, this blog is killing you, as sure as it's killing us.

* With the news that Johnny Depp is to play Tonto in the upcoming Lone Ranger movie, we learn that, in Spanish, the character is called "Toro," meaning "bull," rather than Tonto, which means "stupid."

* Austria, which did such a fine job taking care of Mexico 140 years ago, just might condescend to allow Mexico to borrow Moctezuma's headdress one of these days.

* Philly's Major League Soccer team kinda wishes it wasn't sponsored by Bimbo.

* If this doesn't make you cry, we suggest you hold a mirror under your nose to see if you're actually breathing.

* Mexico defeats Serbia in ice hockey. Seriously.

* At the risk of violating Rules #1 and #2, Queretaro's Fight Club is located on Calle Invierno, in colonia Indeco La Popular. See you there.

* Speaking of wanting to punch people unconscious, San Miguel inspires that feeling in a lot of people. Here's one reason.

* Burro Hall Entertainment proudly presents its latest acquisition. (Don't tell the others, but we only signed the band so we could spin the recorder-player off as a solo act.)


Patriot said...

With recent surveys showing that very few Mexicans read books, care about culture, or believe in science, we have to agree it's sort of a match made in Heaven.

And increased immigration makes the US a stronger country how exactly...?

Burro Hall said...

It allows all those well-read people living along the border to let someone else handle the manual labor while they go to work for literary journals. I mean, duh!

Anonymous said...

... because the average Mexican immigrant is smarter than the average gringo.

Anonymous said...

I thought I was picking up some Spanish. I thought Tsuru meant, "sorry you're in Mexico."

Burro Hall said...

You could be right. We were transliterating from the Nahuatl.

Nicole said...

Thank you for the "flash mob video" now if I ever see a group of gringos suddenly break out into a choreographed dance, I'll know exactly what is going on, instead of having my mind blown by the ridiculousness that I will be witnessing.

Patriot said...

If the average Mexican immigrant is smarter than the average gringo, why does Mexico have abysmal scores on international tests? And in the us why do mexicAn Americans s score among the lowest among immigrant groups? With such a shortage of low skilled jobs in the us, What is the value of bringing in more low skilled labor?

Burro Hall said...

The really smart ones know standardized testing is a waste of their time.

Anonymous said...

The value is whatever low wages landowners, factory bosses etc can get away with.