Saturday, February 05, 2011

Sábado Gigante

* Some clever ad agency has come up with the best response so far to the Top Gear kerfuffle, using an image of England's best soccer player, Javier "Chicharito" Hernández, with the dry-as-gin caption, "Yes...imagine waking up and remembering you're Mexican." Magnificently, it's written in Mexican, not British, the better to facilitate this teachable moment: Notice the complete lack of petulance and self-pity, amigos? (We're looking at you, Ambassador Medina...)

* Today is Constitution Day, celebrating the Mexican Constitution, which was ratified about half a mile from our offices on Feb. 5, 1917. Another, equally important Mexican icon, the luchador El Santo, was also created in 1917, and died on Feb. 5, 1984. Coincidence? Perhaps.

* Speaking of constitutions, there's a movement afoot in the Failed State of Arizona to undermine ours - which is essentially like seceding without fighting a war. Given how badly managed the state's finances are, they'll probably come looking to Mexico for foreign aid - the way Texas (another big talker when it comes to secession) came begging last week for help managing its power supply. (Mexico first said yes, then changed its mind, which is kinda funny.)

* Gabrielle Gifford's husband decides outer space is a better place to be than the Failed State of Arizona.

* It's a shame the paper of record isn't covering the Shawna Forde trial. But that's the liberal media for ya. (Try here instead.)

* Mexico is aiming for universal health care, but is handicapped by the fact that its health care system simply isn't very good. Whereas, in the US, we're handicapped by crazy people comparing public health care to Nazism.

* The world's largest bullring, Plaza Mexico, turns 65 today, meaning it's now eligible for government health care in the US.

* Diaper-Wearing Republican Senator Declares War on Anchor Babies.

* If you ever looked at a 200-peso note and thought, "I wonder what her skull looks like," well, dear reader, your search is over.

* Somehow, with all the immigrant-hatin' going on last year, the actual number of illegal immigrants remains unchanged. We guess it's time to try lynch mobs.

* Senator Lugar's letters to the ATF on the border-agent-shot-by-Arizona-guns incident, here and here. It should be interested watching the Republicans in Congress demand the ATF do more to regulate guns, while simultaneously making sure the ATF has no ability to do more to regulate guns.

* Of course, the border really is a sieve.

* Mexico has a plan for handling the Canadian Menace: tourist-eating sharks! Mexican officials, being Mexican officials, quickly rallied to the shark's defense.

* Given the precariousness of the Mexican tourism industry these days, we're not sure that making 180 archeological sites and 116 museums "virtually accessible" via Google Earth is a very well-though-out idea.

* Officials in Oxnard, CA, rescue 1,000 fighting cocks from possible death, then euthanize them. Sometimes you have to destroy a village in order to save it.

* In other sports news, the LPGA cancels its tournament in Morelia due to drug violence. It would be nice to see Lorena Ochoa call them pussies or something.

* Hey, our internet friend (meaning we've never actually met or spoken) Daniel Hernandez has a book coming out on Tuesday. Buy it, or the Zetas will behead you.

* So close to God: Los Lobos are opening for Eric Clapton this month and next.

* Speaking of music, here's a musical version of the NYC Subway Map, which is infinitely more soothing than the actual NYC Subway. Borough Hall is here. We think that's an F#.

* "Superman" producer and native Mexican Ilya Salkind went missing in Mexico City for a few says, before turning up in a hospital bed. Serves him right, for having tricked a generation of Americans into admiring an illegal alien.

* Photo of a Superman pinata that was thrown away intact. Because, duh! Ya can't break a Superman pinata, kids.

* Evil Messicans in the comic books of yesteryear.

* During the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, we heard a lot of reporters reminiscing about the good old days, when no one would blow the whistle on, say, JFK. Similarly, there was probably a time when, if reporters called to a government building in Querétaro for a press conference found a lacy blue thong on the conference room floor, they would have pretended not to notice.

* We just noticed that the end of the world is scheduled for a Friday night. Fucking typical.


Anonymous said...

unfortuantely, Hernandez barely gets a game, kept out the team by a Bulgarian and an *ahem* Englishman. However he did play today, and his team lost for the first time in over 9 months.

Burro Hall said...

Well, how do you expect the poor man to perform on a diet of British food? It's, like, sick with cheese on it.

Anonymous said...

How dare you, you bigot. I will ask the British Ambassador to demand a formal apology from Burro Hall immediately.

Anonymous said...

If Hernandez would just eat the boiled meat he too could have bad teeth

Anonymous said...

It just dawned on me that I read Burro Hall before I read the Times.
Whats up with that? Great Gigante yesterday.

Burro Hall said...

Wow, what is up with that? We actually think the Times is slightly better at covering the area outside the 20-mile radius around Burro Hall Headquarters, but we totally understand not wanting to start your day with Tom Friedman.

Anonymous said...

and what about cut Davie B.

Anonymous said...

quiero decir...cute,cute cute!
lo siento!

Anonymous said...

like the post, and not just because you used "kerfuffle."
ok, i lied; yes, because you used "kerfuffle."