Saturday, February 26, 2011

Sábado Gigante

* We shouldn't be surprised that there's an actual Major League Baseball Statistic for "Most Saves By A Mexican-born Relief Pitcher" - but it's currently held by Kansas City's Joakim "The Mexicutioner" Soria. Last week, during spring training camp in the Failed State of Arizona, Soria asked his fans via Twitter to please stop calling him "The Mexicutioner". "That nickname is a negative to the kids in Mexico," he said in an interview. “I know I can’t really do anything about it, but the mind-set needs to change. People follow me in Mexico.” We've never bought into the whole athletes-as-role-models thing, but at this point the 2011 Burro Hall Sportsman of the Year award is his to lose. (Previous winners here and here.)

* Mexico is the kind of place where they use the word "legendary" to describe a featherweight boxer. We'd never heard of the legendary Salvador Sanchez, but he apparently died in Querétaro 30 years ago, passing a truck at night in his Porsche. His sparring partner remembers.

* Here's an episode of Top Gear we'd like to see:

You have to be brave to take on the traffic in Mexico City. But the world’s richest man, at the wheel of his car, certainly relishes a challenge.

With a convoy of bodyguards following closely behind in blacked-out 4x4s, [Slim's] navy Mercedes darts across the lanes.

“Would you like me to scare you?” he says with a twinkle in his eye, accelerating suddenly and laughing at my braced position as we jostle through the congested streets.

* Via WikiLeaks, the US Embassy's list of the richest Mexicans. Somehow, the US Ambassadors billionaire wife didn't make the list.

* US Wins Drug War!

* Or not. President Calderón: "What are the Americans supposed to be doing? Reducing drug consumption on the part of their citizens; they haven't done it. In fact, in some categories it's gone up." Typical Mexican, blaming America just because we buy billions of dollars of illegal drugs every year from the cartels that are destroying his country.

* And making it easy for them to get assault weapons. Look, the important thing is that the NRA is happy.

* Querétaro cops get mad gunz! We didn't notice the Mexican word for "training" anywhere in the news coverage.

* In other firearms news, the Failed State of Arizona wants to make the Colt Single Action Army Revolver its official state gun in homage to a better era, where Arizonans murdered each other with American guns instead of German ones. Also pending in the world's most amusing state legislature is a bill to close the loophole allowing Mexicans to exist, one allowing guns in college classrooms (because hey, an Arizona college student with a gun - what could possibly go wrong?) and one banning karma, which we have to admit is probably a good idea if you're Arizona.

* We guess that in a state that crazy, only sane people are unable to avoid jury duty. Which is a really tough break for Shawna, She-Wolf of the FSoAZ.

* And, possibly anticipating the day in the very near future when all its students are packing, the University of FSoAZ announces it's establishing a "Civility Institute." Um...if we recall from his 60 Minutes interview, for FSoAZ resident Timothy McVeigh was an unfailingly polite young man.

* We're not a big fan of the traditional Mexican "perp walk before charges are even filed," but some people really do just look guilty.

* America Faces Epidemic of Fat Pets. Though some are just big-boned.

* If you can avoid getting decapitated, Mexico is actually a pretty healthy place to live.

* We don't know this woman, but she's a very good friend of a very good friend, so if you're looking for an easy way to do something nice today, go visit her blog and leave her some good wishes. If you don't, she'll beat your ass like it owes her money.

* We wish "Mariachi Bohemian Rhapsody" was better, but it ain't terrible.

* Americans who don't get the joke in the photo up top, click here.


Anonymous said...

can you blame them?

Anonymous said...

Some of those pets have thyroid conditions too.

Anonymous said...

I have a thyroid conditon and I am not a pet.

Anonymous said...

From the Nazizona

Anonymous said...