Say It Ain't So, 'Co...

A few days ago we saw posters around town announcing that our favorite luchador, Mistico, would be grappling at the Arena Querétaro next Tuesday night. So we put together a group of four or five people interested in an evening of Old School luchistic arts and sciences, and went off to the crappy bodega in the dangerous neighborhood where tickets are sold. And that's where we were told that Mistico had canceled. But why? "He went to the United States," the bodega-lady said. Okay. It's not uncommon for us to not completely understand what people are saying to us, and this was one of those occasions, but pressing for more information wasn't going to change the fact that Tuesday was shaping up to be a evening of B-List wrestling, so we thanked her, pocketed our money, and left.

Today, we understand what she meant.

STAMFORD, Conn. – WWE today unveiled their latest Superstar signing, Sin Cara, formerly known worldwide as Mistico. The announcement took place today during a press conference in his hometown Mexico City, where passionate fans of all ages turned out to see their favorite performer become the newest addition to the WWE roster.

“Sin Cara is a tremendous performer who brings the crowd to its feet every time he steps into the ring,” said Stephanie McMahon, Executive Vice President, WWE. “With us, his stardom will only get bigger and brighter.”

Upon his signing, Sin Cara said, “WWE is the pinnacle of sports-entertainment. It is an honor and a thrill for me to be able to perform with the world’s best. Being a WWE Superstar will present new challenges, new mountains to climb and new competition. It is a new beginning and a new life. With that in mind, I have chosen the new name of Sin Cara in hopes to represent all the legendary Mexican masked performers and to carry the banner of their legacy to the entire world.”

This is what we get for falling in love. Now we know howw Seattle grunge fans felt after "Nevermind" went quadruple-platinum. Mistico's new name means "Without a Face," and as part of yesterday's sellout he unveiled his new, gaudier mask, and posed with his new manager, Col. Tom Parker.

"I's 'Without a Face'!"

We can already hear you saying, "Big deal - a professional athlete grabs for a bigger paycheck," and, yeah, we're not completely naive here. But the appeal of Mistico has always been that he keeps it real, as the kids say. He's probably the best luchador in Mexico, but he still fights in the seedy CMLL instead of the more Hollywood-style AAA. To put this is American terms, see Rocky III. Clubber Lang would have fought in the CMLL. Rocky (before his epiphany) would be AAA. WWE is Apollo Creed from the first Rocky. Or possibly the late-90s New York Yankees. Anyway, it hurts, that's all.

But hey, if nothing else, it should help Linda McMahon reach Latino voters in 2018.