Sunday, March 20, 2011


Spring is finally here, and while it's admittedly not such a big deal when it's been a consistent 75 degrees all winter, we spent enough decades living in the frigid northeast to consider the equinox one of the happiest days of the year. So here's the Diocese of Querétaro to shit on it for us:

The spokesman for the Diocese of Querétaro, Saúl Ragoitia, expressed regret that people continue to engage in the rituals for spring, which only serve to restrict their freedom of self-determination.

In a press conference, he rejected the idea that people should put their faith in "energy, talismans, amulets, the zodiac and witchcraft," such as the spring equinox rituals that occur in various locations.

Oh, hey, thanks for stopping by, Rev. -- haven't seen you since you were condemning trick-or-treaters to the fires of hell a few months ago! Of course, we've been slamming the equinox thing for years, based on our personal impatience with hippie-dippy horseshit and the fact that, while the idea that the ancients "recharged their energy" this way is nonsense, the damage it does to the nation's archeological heritage is quite real. But since we reflexively support everything the Jesus Mafia opposes, we'll take this opportunity to direct local readers to Querétaro's only pyramid and also this really big rock, which is inexplicably popular with the equinox crowd despite being nothing but a really big rock). The good vibes reach their peak at 5:21PM.


Dave said...

Guess he's not going to have anything good to say about the Easter Bunny, either.

And where's the joy in life if you can't loosen up slightly and run around naked under a full moon?

Anonymous said...

Speaking of the really big rock, it's also famous for the many candy shops around it. On a recent visit I was most distressed to find that many are lacing their candies with (gasp & yecch) aspartame. There's a story there, though I don't know what it is. Perhaps Burro Hall can investigate?

Burro Hall said...

That's surprising. There are plenty of more-dangerous additives they could be using. Why settle for aspartame?

Dave said...

More travel advisories for Mexico it seems. Nearly made it to the really big rock a few years back- should have been warned both about the hippies AND the aspartame.