Friday, April 01, 2011

Crowbar Award Nominees

We find this "blogging" thing works best when we let other people do most of the work, so we've stolen (or, as the rappers say, "sampled") our next two Crowbar Award nominees (honoring the best attempts by the foreign media to force a drug-trade angle into every Mexican story, no matter how awkward the fit) from a couple of our favorite blogs.

First, via the MexFiles (and with thanks to Margaret for emailing the link), this Reuters story on exotic-animal trafficking through Mexico that manages to squeeze in the notion that

Mexican drug lords have been known to collect animals like big cats as trophy pets or hide narcotics in wildlife cargo.

The first part of that is true, if not especially relevant. As to the second part, well, really - what better way to move illicit narcotics past US Customs than in the ass of an endangered jungle cat?

The next one comes from Gancho, who, on the mistaken belief that living north of the Rio Grande allows him to go rogue without fear of reprisals, actually declares this New York Times story the Crowbar Award winner, despite there being nine months left in 2011. That said, this really could be the one to beat. In the middle of an otherwise questionable story about scandalous public displays of affection in Mexico City, we get:

Other couples, however, described public affection in more ominous terms. Mexico these days is essentially Jekyll and Hyde: positive economic growth is paired with a sprawling war on drug cartels that has claimed 34,000 lives since 2006.

We've read that line about 20 times, and keep coming back to the same question: What the fuckin' fuck? The reporter goes on for a few more paragraphs before trying to close the thought with:

“Affection is a way to forget,” Ms. Pérez said. “You forget your problems, and you live.”

Mexican teenage boys are some of the horniest-looking creatures we've ever seen, but we guarantee you none of them have ever used the Drug War body count as a way to get to second base. Not even Octavio Paz could pull off that line.

[Previous nominees here.]

No comments: