Monday, May 02, 2011

Relics

Yesterday we mentioned how, through the magic of papal corner-cutting, what had once been an old used skullcap laying around in a drawer here in Querétaro was now a secondary relic of the soon-to-be-Saint Juan Pablo II. We put a couple of interns on the case and learned that "primary relics" are parts of the body of the saint, while "secondary relics" are objects that have been in contact with and/or used by the saint. And "tertiary relics" are those that have touched a primary or secondary relic.

Which reminded us of this picture of our executive editor's late grandfather touching the primary relics (i.e., body parts - specifically the right hand) of His Beatitude.


Gramps - or, as we'll now be referring to him, "The Tertiary Relic" - has been laid to rest... um, somewhere in the northeast United States. (We don't want to encourage pilgrims.) But in the years after this mystical exchange of holy mojo took place, our executive editor came into physical contact with him on a number of occasions, thus becoming, if our Latin serves us correctly, a "quaternary relic" (an object that has come in contact with a primary, secondary or tertiary relic) of the man who will one day supplant the Virgen de Guadalupe as Patron Saint of Mexico. And if you don't think we plan to abuse this, you should pray for a miraculous cure for your insanity. Spread the word, people: even trying to charge us for a drink will earn you a quick 500 years in Limbo. And that's for the first offense.

We're awaiting a ruling on whether or not reading this blog makes you a "quinary relic," but don't get your hopes up, mortals.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I learn so much from your blog!

I knew about the mathematicians’ Erdős number the actors’ Bacon number, and that they have been linked.

But there seems to be no link between relic hierarchy and either the Erdős number or the Bacon number!

Burro Hall said...

Education is a matter dear to our hearts, Anon.

I think those numbers would be hard to link because the relic hierarchy depends on physical contact, while the others don't. But applying the Bacon methodology, that would give me a Saint JP2 Number of 2. And for today's other newsmaker, my Osama bin Laden number is also 2. Giving me a "John Paul-bin Laden Number" of 4.

rc610 said...

http://tucsoncitizen.com/three-sonorans/2011/05/02/story-of-the-mexican-anchor-baby-navy-seals-that-captured-osama-bin-laden/

Dave said...

Just think...every time you pet the perro.... Unfortunately you couldn't save him from the dentist, but still...

Burro Hall said...

Well, he had those dental problems before I was a Holy Personage.

http://imustbecrazytoliveinmexico.blogspot.com/ said...

Do you sit around thinking this stuff up or does it come to you by divine intervention?

Burro Hall said...

God is my co-pilot.