Thursday, June 23, 2011

Cinco de Burro: October 4, 2007

In which we make a fairly lame joke about a horsemeat industry lobbyist, and discover that our audience is made up almost entirely of humorless equiphiles.

Thursday, October 04, 2007
Horse: It's What's For Dinner

More of America's finest jobs are being sucked south to Mexico, this time thanks to well-funded America-hating animal rights establishment. We used to earn a good living bludgeoning horses to death at close range in this country. Not anymore:

With the only three horse slaughter plants in the U.S. closed, the industry has turned to Mexico and Canada to kill horses for their meat largely for export abroad for diners.

As of this week, the U.S. exported 20,196 horses from Texas for slaughter in Mexico. That's up from 1,109 over the same period last year, U.S. Agriculture Department statistics show.

In an almost literal example of good intentions paving the road to hell, animal rights activists got horse slaughter banned in the US, which means that now, before being slaughtered, the horses have to endure a long, uncomfortable drive to Mexico first. We've made that drive; trust us, it blows.

All this was predictable, according to the man who has quite possibly fallen as low as an elected official can fall:

"The U.S. plants had, certifiably so, the most humane way to end the life of unwanted horses available to those horse owners who did not object to horse slaughter and we turned our back on it," said Charlie Stenholm, a former Texas congressman who now lobbies for the horse slaughter industry.

"Who now lobbies for the horse slaughter industry"? Christ, that's just sad. PhRMA didn't have anything available? The Petroleum Institute wasn't taking applications? It's gotta be hard to keep your head high at cocktail parties when you're introduced as Big Horse Meat's man on the Hill. (Actually, now that we say it out loud, it sounds pretty cool.) Still, if you want to console him, his direct number is (202) 518-6334.

Humane Society video here.

The comments are where it gets weird.

5 comments:

Dave said...

I have to say, Frank, that you managed to unknowingly poke a hornet's nest. I'm impressed with your angry crowd management, viz, offering dog and cat photos.

Not complaining, but it does seem like it's been a while since you've riled readers as much, at least to stimulate multiple comments...other than that slightly odd fellow last year (other than me).

Burro Hall said...

I think we're just attracting a less irony-challenged readership these days. It's like evolution, but in the scientifically-neglected arena of blog comments.

Dave said...

On one hand, I hope you're right, but it is pretty entertaining watching you have at it with some of those folks.

Anonymous said...

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(tu amigo de Twttr)

Fnarf said...

I thought I was gonna die laughing. At both "spokesman for the horse slaughtering industry" and at the raft of "horse slaughter" google-alerters who jumped in with their canned screeds. I think this is my favorite blog now. Well done, sir.