Thursday, September 08, 2011

Homeland Security

So, not that we're trying to stir up ethnic hatred or anything (some of our best friends are Austrians in Mexico), but has anything good ever come from letting Austrians into Mexico? We're thinking specifically, of the years-long war that installed and maintained the Hapsburg Emperor Maximiliano on the throne for four years, until he decided to test his luck on the means streets of Querétaro and was sent back to Vienna badly taxidermied. From that day forward, the Austies kept a wisely low profile, popping up about a century ago to ask if they might build a teeny-tiny chapel to mark the spot where Max was gunned down. That backfired spectacularly, and a chastened Austria decided to concentrate instead on its burgeoning incestuous sex dungeon industry.

Until now.

Last week the Colegio Austriaco-Mexicano, an Austrian funded "school"/indoctrination center, opened its doors in Querétaro, just a few miles from where their Hapsburg Emperor made his last stand. Our Executive Editor led the local opposition to this project - though by "local opposition" we pretty much mean "our Executive Editor," and by "led" we mean "talked some shit over beers one night."

Hey, fine, whatever. Let them build their damn institute. "Hands Across the Water" and all that other kumbayah crap. How insidious could its influence be, anyway?

Mexican man sexually enslaves two stepdaughters

MEXICO CITY -- A Mexican national sexually abused his girlfriend's two teenage daughters for seven years, having five children with them and holding a teenage boy as a slave, police said on Wednesday. He went on to kill one of the daughters and their infant child.

During five years, Jorge Antonio imprisoned his two stepdaughters in a small room, sealing its windows, and keeping them as sex slaves. The teenagers eventually gave birth to five children, while the 14-year-old son was kept as a slave as well. Antonio simultaneously had sexual relationships with the mother and her daughters and, on occasions, he would force the two teenagers to engage in sexual activity among each other, sometimes while their brother was present.

Sigh. When will people start listening to our boss's drunken ravings?

2 comments:

Charles Pergiel said...

So the story about 40% of Europeans being nuts is not just a fairy tale. Sigh.

Crazy Rita said...

We know the real reason Burro Hall was against opening the new colegio. There was fear the noise and recorders would drive its editor to the looney bin.