Saturday, October 08, 2011

Sábado Gigante

* Tomorrow is the first Querétaro Marathon (sponsored, of course, by Corona beer). Every door along the street our offices are located on had a flier taped to it saying that the marathon passes along this street. This is contradicted by the official race course maps. So we may or may not be hosting an all-you-can-drink Bloody Mary fiesta on our roof tomorrow morning. (We will be hosting a World Series-watching party later in the fall, and have invited A-Rod and a date.) Because this is Mexico, they can't just run a marathon, so there's a half-marathon, a 10K and a 5K all running simultaneously. What could possible go wrong?


* Why Steve Jobs is the best example of why the war on drugs in misguided. Mexico, meanwhile, is busy outlawing sales of alcohol and energy drinks. And Otomí kids in Querétaro get their very own just-say-no-to-drugs comic book superhero.

* Any country where a political will publicly refer to an ex-president as "a pathological clown" is a pretty great country.

* Burro Hall Travel Advisory: People who are DEA witnesses against the Sinaloa Cartel should avoid traveling to Mexico. Duh.

* Guardian columnist calls on American pot farmers to step up and do their part to end the drug wars by growing more dope. Let's just hear him out, okay?

* As bodies pile up in Veracruz, the chief prosecutor quits to spend more time with his family. Meanwhile, the "Zeta Killers" turn out to be just a rival cartel. It's like you can't trust anyone anymore.

* We really do need to build a wall to keep out the drug traffickers. And the sex offenders.

* Legalizing immigrations: It ain't brain surgery.

* All evidence to the contrary, Rick Perry continues to insist the Texas border is a war zone. And now he's scared off the Monarch butterflies.

* Mexico to Perry on his invasion plan: "You and what army?"

* On thing that will be flying around the border: Prince Harry.

* Sheriffs from the Failed State of Arizona, outraged that the ATF's "Fast & Furious" sting allowed guns other than the Official State Gun into the FSoAZ call for an independent prosecutor. Attorney General Holder: "Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up."

* FSoAZ can't even get the running of the bulls right.

* Comment of the Week: Actually, a series of about a dozen comments submitted over a couple of days be a loyal reader in Baja whom we've never met but who seems certain we, along with two other people we've never met, are plotting to ruin her life via electrical impulses transmitted to a machine we've implanted in her head. We've edited out the unprintable parts.

Go shove your head up your ass you big fake. WELL NO, WHY DON'T YOU APPROACH A GANG OF SEVEN MEXICAN GUYS AND GET YOUR FUCKIN HEAD SMASHED IN? … FUCK YOU you are going to be fucked with, got it? And go stick your filthy fingers up Sarah Palins [expletive] you faggot. Mad? I despise bullshit people like you and [redacted] and [redacted] …who have a fuckin angle, fuck you trying to wrap yourselves up in some kind of phoney literary cabal and makin money on the side, what a bunch of fucking hypocrites. bullshit cocksucker FUCK YOU HEY, SELL ANY REAL ESTATE LATELY? Fake FUCKIN COCKSUCKIN PIG FUCK YOU BIG PHONEY BULLSHIT GO RUN TO YOUR FAGGOT FRIENDS. FUCK YOU HEY, SEE YA AROUND FAT BOY…AND YOUR FUCKIN DOG. CHRIST DOES HE LICK YOUR DICK? PROBABLY … you are a fuckin nazi scumbag fat boy. Hurry up, take your heart medicine. No, on second thought DON'T. And your face is all red, what's that - LUPUS? WHAT??? FUCK YOU ... I grew up here. Get the fuck out and go home.… So inotherwords, you are an idiot. Plus you are fat… you are nothing but a washed up piece of shit. FUCK YOU!

* Mexican Mental Health Magazine.

* An excellent Mexican photoblog.

* Raves for "To Cross the Face of the Moon."

* Presidente Calderón: "I'm wearing pink because I love breasts, not because I'm a homo."

* Miss Querétaro is a stepping stone to so many opportunities. Here, Miss Querétaro 2008 interviews Miss Querétaro 2011 about being Miss Querétaro.

* Proof that Mexicans will counterfeit absolutely anything: 70% of the Central American immigrant panhandlers in Querétaro are actually Mexican. This is up from 60% since local officials started cracking down last year.

* US State Dept. stepping up social media use in Latin America. Or, depending on your point of view, "CIA Infiltrates Twitter."

* The Week in Cheesecake: Former Querétaro mayor Armando Rivera ponders boobies. Local painter's "Self Portrait with My Penis" is removed from, then returned to Galeria Municpal.

* A Sonoma wine company is trying to trademark the words "taco truck."

* Jorge Calderon does Warren Zevon's "Veracruz":

10 comments:

Jan-Albert Hootsen said...

After reading the rant from this person from Baja, the only thing I could think of was: 'That - was - AWESOME!' :-P

Shelley said...

Very good point about the four different marathon distances and routes. It would help slightly if the maps all had north at the top of the page, especially for the out-of-towners participating.
We'll wait 'til tomorrow to see how they run.

The Fatboy said...

meh....that was one of her tamer tirades.....comes in at a 5.5 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Dave said...

You do have some interesting readers. Hopefully the rest of us stay on our meds. I'm sure you could handle the tirade, but going after the perro is over the top. You must have some people in Baja....

Burro Hall said...

She also threatened to kill my children, which would totally freak me out if I did, in fact, have children. I still forwarded her name to the PGJ, just in case.

sunnyjim said...

Come on, Frank. You are pretty fat.

Burro Hall said...

It's spelled "phat," grandpa.

sunnyjim said...

Grandpa? What's with the insults? I thought fat guys were jolly.

Anonymous said...

Calling you fat and accusing the perro of perversion is one thing, but the real estate comment is completely tasteless.

Maggie said...

Frank fatboy why don't you tell the complete story asshole? Like how months ago I asked you to take my blog off of your list of blogs and you would not do it and you listed it as "Maggie's Mad".

And tell them about the emails from you and Richard, that would be interesting. yOU KNOW, THE ONES EXPLAINING THAT FULANO WAS LINTON ROBINSON?

YOU ARE A CHICKEN SHIT NOBODY.

nOW TAKE A FEW GUESSES WHO I HAVE ALREADY FORWARDED ALL OF YOUR & RICHARDS COMMENTS AND EMAILS TO.

NOT ONLY THAT YOU'RE A FUCKIN LIAR I NEVER SAID I WAS GOING TO KILL YOUR CHILDREN, I SAID I HOPE THEY GET OBLITERATED LIKE FULANO(YOUR FRIEND) TRIED TO DO TO ME.

AND I NEVER HAVE BEEN A READER HERE AND YOU FUCKIN KNOW IT.

GO FUCK YOURSELF FRANK.

Oh BTW asshole, I only had like four hits from your blog which tells me no one reads it.

Except Linton, that great promoter amigo of yours.

Just another New York carpetbagger is what you are Frank.

And a fuckin coward.

Go back to New York Frank, give it up.