Monday, November 28, 2011

To Protect and to Serve on Rye With a Nice Piece of Smoked Salmon

We're big fan's of's Flickr page, where they upload hundreds of local news photos and video every week. But for some strange reason they usually do this without captioning them. So instead of being a news source, it's really more of a "write your own news story" parlor game. This weekend, posted without comment or explanation, was this handout photo from the Municipal Police. Six packets of Kraft Philadelphia Light cream cheese.

Assuming that the packets of cream cheese are not themselves suspected of having committed a crime, we can surmise that they were in fact recovered by police. So:

A) Someone stole six packets of Kraft Philadelphia Light cream cheese. We know times are tough, and sympathize with anyone stealing food to feed their family, but since there are no bagels to be had in this town, these were either stolen to make cheesecake or (God forbid) sushi. If you're stealing to feed your kids, you can do better than this.

B) The local police force in a city of over 800,000 people responded to a call involving six packets of Kraft Philadelphia Light cream cheese, launched an investigation, and successfully recovered the stolen goods. No wonder there's no narco activity in this town.

C) Said police force was so proud of this effort, that they photographed the six packets of Kraft Philadelphia Light cream cheese, stamped their logo on it, and handed them out to the media, which

D) actually ran with the story.  

Viva Mexico!


Burro Hall said...

And yes, we know that

E) we wrote a whole blog post about it.

Anonymous said...

drugs hidden inside the packets

Dave said...

Riveting story.

Ah, isn't it time for a pet update?

Maggie said...

Would you please take my name down from your blog list? I don't like you, I don't like Richard and I don't like your friend Linton Robinson.

You are all assholes.

Thank You

Burro Hall said...

Wow. A "please" AND a "thank you"! My compliments to your psychopharmacologist.

As soon as I see that the comments about me are removed from your blogger profile, I'll do as you so politely asked.

You're welcome.