Tuesday, November 22, 2011

We Are the Champions

Sorry we were off the grid yesterday.  We're sure the American cable networks have been covering this nonstop, but in case your tv has been on the fritz, Querétaro did in fact smash - not "set," but smashed - the record for World's Largest Taco Ever, Bitches.  We confess, at first we thought there was a bit of fine-print trickery going on, because all the signs in the area spoke of the "World's Largest Taco de Carnitas," as if the record could be parceled out between various categories of taco filling.  But no: at 73 meters in length and containing 2,500 pounds of chopped pig meat, there has never been a More Large Taco In The World, Ever.  (More photos here.)  This was certified by representatives of the Guinness Book, who apparently are no longer affiliated with the beer company, and so probably did nothing to improve the city's dismal supply of Irish stout while they were there.


Previously, the Largest Taco In the World, Ever, Bitches, was the - in retrospect, embarrassing - "effort" of the people of Mexicali, who in 2003, mixed together equal parts carne asada and tears of shame and fashioned the resulting mixture into a "giant taco" a mere 10 meters long.  By "10 meters," we of course mean "63 meters shorter than Querétaro's effort," (which, by the way, was put together by 300 students... children, basically).  Thanks for playing, Mexicali.  Next!

Plaza de Armas coverage (which, because the story didn't involve the PRI or the Venegas family, the paper chose not to put on its website),  includes this enigmatic line:

[The president of the Patronto de la Cocina Queretana] added that this is the fourth time that this taco has been made, surpassing year after year the previous year's size and making the state of Querétaro the leader in making this dish.
Which would seem to say that for four years in a row, Querétaro has been quietly shattering the World Record for Largest Taco Ever, Bitches, but only this year decided to make a fuss about it.  There's a word for that, people, and that word is "Champion."

Update: The innumerates at Fox News figure the taco weighed about 850,000 kilos, which is roughly the weight of two 747s.  People who work for Fox News are incredibly stupid.

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