Thursday, December 08, 2011

It's Raining Men - Hallelujah!

We told you earlier how, with the arrival of Pope John Paul II's Crime-Fighting Vial o' Precious Boldily Fluids just a few days away, the state of Guanajuato went and one-upped us by announcing that the actual, living Pope, Benedict "Sweet" XVI, would continue the long tradition of former Nazis visiting Latin America by coming to their state next year. Querétaro, not surprisingly, has not taken this sitting down, and is aggressively playing the "But Guanajuato sucks ass!" card. If it works, we'll be hip-deep in pontiffs by springtime.

They've hired an outside organization, the exquisitely-named "World Institute of Advanced Planning and Organization," to crank out a document listing the many (true, actually) ways QRO is better than GTO: bigger facilities, better stadiums, a better airport, more accessible by more highways - they even mention that we're closer to Mexico City, which is a risky argument to make (because, you know what's even closer to Mexico City?  Mexico City, which kicks QRO's ass in all the previous categories), but they balance it nicely by mentioning our lower altitude, which was the pope's lame excuse for blowing off the world's second-largest Catholic country in the first place.

This is one of those situations where our civic pride in Querétaro and our antipathy to papal visits cancel each other out, but the willingness of our state to just baldly ratfuck its next door neighbor out of a visit from the pope warms our bitter little hearts. (Remember this, vecinos?  We do...)  Burro Hall heartily endorses this effort (largely because we plan to be out of town that week), and invites the local officials to exploit our status as an actual relic of the previous pontiff living amongst them, to whatever degree this is helpful to the cause.


KeylimeSteve said...

betcha' $100 (MX) the boys will be done with the gas pipe by then.

Burro Hall said...

Completely done? Or "Obra Suspendida" for the duration of the visit?

The dead one's blood sample will be driving right up our street on Monday, just four working-nights from now...