Sunday, December 04, 2011

Today in Dead Pope News

The Committee to Figure Out What to Do With Pope John Paul II's Crime-Fighting Vial of Blood When It Visits Queréraro has been meeting in secret (as in, "without inviting us") for the past several weeks, and has finally announced its infallible plan: "Let's take him to a bunch of churches! He loved that sort of thing!" Five churches, to be exact (one of them at the Salesian school that hosted Don Bosco's severed arm last year), plus the public hospital and a police station. More to the point, though, they seem to have decided to almost completely surround Burro Hall Headquarters with a clockwise circle of papal hemoglobin.  We can only assume this is a sign of respect for our own status as holy relics of the formerly living pope.

In non-dead-pope related news, the current pope, Benedict something-or-other, apparently unwilling up be upstaged by his long-dead predecessor, has suddenly gotten over his fear of Mexico and will likely visit Guanajuato next year. We'll try to be out of town for that.

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